You didn't give her the credit she deserved and because of that, you missed out on the incredible things that made her who she is.
It was so easy for you to judge. You looked at her "arrogance", you heard the way she spoke and immediately assumed that she was just as shallow as everyone else. You thought you knew everything about her. But here's a little tip for you. You saw what she chose to show you. She let the world see the tip of the iceberg but no one bothered to look deeper. She wasn't like everyone else, you were.
She kept her emotions to herself because she never wanted to burden anyone with her pain. So she smiled for the world to see just so that the people around her could smile too. And here you thought that she didn't know what hurt was.
She buried her emotions to make it easier for others to lean on her when they were troubled. She never let them know that whenever they shared their pain with her, she, too, felt it with them. You thought she was selfish, but would you be willing to do the same?
Just one time you saw her focus on herself and you thought she was self-absorbed. But you didn't see all the times she put everyone else's needs above her own. She never hesitated to drop whatever she was doing for them because she knew they needed her by their side. It's because of that, her loved ones could trust her with their lives. Of course, that made you think she was a fool to do that but you didn't realize that she was smart enough to know when she needed time for herself.
That "arrogance" that you saw from her was the confidence she worked so hard for. She was slowly dying inside but she was able to pull herself out of it and build her confidence. You never saw that struggle though. You didn't see her claw her way out of her darkness to make sure no one could bring her down again.
She didn't give advice because she thought that she knew better than everyone else, as you thought. She looked at her past experiences and didn't want anyone to suffer the way she did. So every word she said was a way to guide people away from their own darkness and help them fight their demons. But you wouldn't know that because you never truly listened to her.
You never liked when she confronted you and you believed that she was too hot-tempered. Yet, you never looked at those arguments as her way of standing up for what she believed in. She made herself strong enough to stick to her morals and values. You never made the effort to understand that though.
"Clingy", "needy", "overly emotional", "intense". That's how you described her, didn't you? But of course, you wouldn't know that she's been hurt so much in life that all she wants to do is share her love with others. If you had looked carefully enough, you'd have seen that the love that shone through her eyes was the kind that many have looked for their entire life. But you didn't. All you did was judge.
When she chose to prioritize her relationship with you over others, she didn't do it because she was weak. She did it because she valued your love over the attention of those who did not matter as much. She wanted her relationship to work but she also trusted that her loved ones would be there for her.
Just because she may have suggested an idea that was different from everyone else, you assumed that she was not intelligent. Which was definitely a mistake to think because though she may not have displayed it, but she was smarter than anyone gave her credit for.
Question her all you want but nothing you say or do will shake this woman who has fought her demons and won.