The woman and her sister-in-law were best friends before they became family.
Sometimes your sorrow might be inhibiting your ability to be happy for another person but that is never an excuse to cut ties with someone who has stood by you for a long time in life. One woman took to Reddit to describe an incident that changed the dynamic between her and her friend, who is also her sister-in-law.
The Original Poster (OP) said she had been friends with her sister-in-law since high school. She dated her brother, Dan and later got married to him while Daisy married a guy named Matt. Daisy and Dan were trying to have a baby for years but the couple could not conceive for a long time, despite the treatments.
"Matt and Daisy wanted a baby and start trying right after marriage but they were having a lot of trouble. I am talking multiple failed IVF's, multiple late-term miscarriages (one of which was a stillbirth). The struggle went on for 7 years," wrote the woman on Reddit.
While Daisy went through tough days, the woman stood by her. She supported her in every way possible. The woman was concerned about her sister-in-law that she did not even want to leave the state even after getting better jobs elsewhere.
Additionally, Daisy's husband, Matt wasn't sensitive to her feelings and so, the woman and her husband knew Daisy wanted them near.
"I have helped her immensely through everything, financially and emotionally. Matt is... unsympathetic sometimes. He behaves as if it's a batch of bad cookies and immediately guilts her into trying again. So, it always was up me(sic) and Dan to take care of her. Despite many talks from me and Dan, she remained married to him and kept trying again and again. We have had many offers to leave the state/country for a better job, but didn't because we were scared to leave her alone," said the woman.
However, OP's relationship with her sister-in-law went downhill when she became pregnant. Daisy said she did not want to meet her sister-in-law and her brother after they broke the news of their pregnancy. "3 years ago, I got pregnant. We broke the news gently to Daisy one day. She got real quiet and then asked us to leave. Later, she sent me an email saying she doesn't want to see me or Dan anymore and that this is all too much. We tried to console her but didn't work, so gave her space," wrote the woman.
Their relationship was broken and Daisy did not want to reconnect with her brother and the woman. The woman further stated that she lost her husband just weeks before the pregnancy. With Dan's death, the woman was devastated. She did not have anyone and reached out to Daisy. Not only did Daisy hang up on the woman but also refused to come to her own brother's funeral.
"Daisy refused to attend the funeral because she will have to see me. The day before the funeral and I called her and begged her to come. I didn't think that I would be able to go through that without her. She hung up on me and didn't attend the service," wrote the woman.
Despite it all, the woman went through the delivery alone and she moved to a different state. She cut all ties with Daisy and started her life with her daughter. Soon, Daisy tried to contact her but the woman avoided it.
Shortly after, the OP received a call from another number. It was Daisy. She told the OP that she got pregnant but lost the baby after birth. She also informed her that her husband left her leaving her homeless and broke. She then asked the woman for help. However, the OP refused.
"Turns out she finally got pregnant, had a baby boy who passed away 5 days after being born in NICU. Matt is also leaving her and screwed her over because of the prenup. She is basically broke and homeless days after losing a child. I just said "Ok". She then asked, "Are you really not going to say anything? You are really not going to help?'"
The woman continued, "I pretty much said, 'I don't care about you. I don't care about your life. I don't care about Matt. I don't care that your baby died. Just leave me and my daughter alone.' and then hung up. Since then she has been sending me multiple emails and vm's stating how awful I am and how heartless and how much Dan would be disappointed. I continued to just ignore everything."
Reddit readers were divided. Many asked the woman to forgive Daisy. "Has anyone here ever lost a baby after birth like this? It’s gut-wrenching. Daisy may be an asshole for her behavior but OP is an asshole for her deliverance. You didn’t have to say you didn’t care that her babies dead. You could have said everything other than that. ESH."
Others sided with her. "I know the common idea is to "be the bigger person" and that's top notch for anyone that can do that, but after the way she treated you, you don't owe her an apology, or sympathy, or forgiveness. You owe yourself, and your daughter a bright future. Keep doing you. Forget about that lady."