The couple had met through a dating app two months before the lockdown and had been on four dates, but he was engaged the entire time.
When we give our heart to someone, we hope for the best. We trust them completely but sometimes people leave a gaping hole in our hearts. There is no way to know, until after we have taken the leap of faith, if someone is genuine or not.
One woman had her heart broken twice in a row, when she tried contacting her longdistance boyfriend. She got to know the reason her boyfriend was not picking her calls or returning her texts was because he had died!
The unnamed woman wrote on a Reddit forum, "If I could rewind back to a week ago, I would. When I was happily in a long-distance relationship with a guy I could imagine a future with. My world came down not only once, but twice. The first, when I didn’t hear from him, after texting everyday for the better part of a year, and after finding him on Facebook, i see through a friend’s post that he had passed the day before. I was devastated and was desperate to find answers and what happened."
She messaged his best friend but didn't any response even until the day she wrote the post on the website. And then came the next bombshell. Days later, she found his obituary, which said that he was survived by a loving fiancée. "My mind blown, my world shook. My feelings of overwhelming grief and sadness became feelings of betrayal. But I was in denial. Maybe they broke up and no one knew? Then his best friend posted a tribute/eulogy of their friendship and at the end, he said how excited my bf was to marry his fiancée and that she was the love his life. My heart crushed. I’m the other woman. How is that possible? We texted everyday and called or FaceTimed," she added.
She explained that they had met on a dating app but she was not a "social media person and never thought to look into his life with scrutiny. She wondered if she imagined the relationship and re-read their texts just to make sure and found that their relationship had seemed "truly genuine." They had been dating for only two months before the lockdown, and they never ended up meeting each other's friends or family.
They started dating in January and been on four dates before the quarantine lockdown. "He lived in another state so it wasn't something that I thought about. Had we not had the lockdown, I would think our relationship would have progressed to where I would be suspicious if I didn't meet his friends or family...but since the lockdown did, it wasn't surprising to not meet or contact anyone in his life. He didn't meet or know anyone in my life," the woman added.
She wondered what their relationship meant to him. "How could he say the words he did to me and make the promises and plans for the future while planning to marry someone else? We met on a dating app so it’s not like I seduced him at a bar or something. He was actively looking for someone. If I’m just sex, why didn’t he end it after quarantine hit and he didn’t travel for work anymore and I couldn’t fly out to him," she wondered, according to Mirror UK.
Heartbroken, she hasn't been able to eat or sleep since this bizarre incident. "Every day I walk around with a heaviness in my heart from grief but also from all the information I found out. I want to share it to lessen my burden and so that someone in his life knows that I existed and care about him and he cared about me. But would it be selfish to tell his fiancé? I would have 100% told her if he was still alive but now that he’s dead, would it be too cruel?" she asked.
There were mixed reactions on the forum with many people saying that she should move on and seek professional help from a mental-health professional to process her complicated grief, while many said that she should let her fiancee know about the situation. Many women who were married to cheating partners also opened up about their experiences and the opinion was divided.
One user said, "I didn’t know that would be a unpopular opinion, but If I was the fiancée I would 100% want to know. Because that could literally be my only chance to reconstruct my life afterwards.
A dead man I could have loved all my life : very little chance to get over it. A dead man who was lying, cheating on me, having a double life... very good chances to get over him."
There were people on both sides debating whether it would help to tell the fiance or not. As this user put it, "Would it help the Fiancé? No. Losing someone to death is traumatic enough. Realising that you lost them emotionally long before their body stopped wouldn’t make things easier - only harder."
As another user put it, self-care is the priority: "You mentioned in another comment you have an appointment for therapy - please discuss this there. You’re talking about an event that is 1) a huge life upheaval for you and 2) a huge life upheaval for his fiancé. Having this information land in her lap right now is certainly not what this woman needs."