The woman was all in favor of a prenup, but she was worried by some of the terms, such as one that included compensation for bearing her fiance's children.
True love is supposed to be unconditional, but sometimes it can come with a few expectations. However, none so bizarre as a man who wants his wife-to-be to sign a prenup that requires her to lose every ounce of fat she may gain after she has his baby. Of course, he's marrying her for her personality, right? The 29-year-old woman, identified only by her username katintheAM, took to Reddit to seek legal advice on what to do about her fiance, 36, who handed her a prenup with a number of rather questionable clauses that seemed a little unusual to her.
She started off her post with an assertion that she was trying to protect her identity in case her fiance read the post, writing, "Made this account right now, not my main." The woman explained, "My fiance is a neurosurgeon and has been wonderfully successful in his field, so when he asked me for a prenup I wasn't too surprised and I am all for them actually. So I did the standard procedure and sat down with my fiance's father, whom (sic) is a lawyer, and he helped break it all down for me."
Perhaps the first warning bell was the fact that her fiance's father helped her go through the prenup. She wrote, "My fiance put a few odd clauses in our prenup, such as an infidelity clause so if I cheat on him, I walk away with basically nothing." It got weirder. She continued, "Along with that, he put in a clause that stated that I have to lose any weight I gain after childbirth, at least 30lbs of it in the first year following childbirth." Now 30 lbs is a very specific number to mention and is a huge amount of weight to drop after birth.
However, that wasn't even the strangest part of the arrangement. She went on, "The oddest of them all to me is the compensation for children clause. I am not sure if I interpreted this correctly so anyone may correct me, but in the prenup, my fiance mentioned that for every child I have for him, I get a chunk of money., which to me doesn't sound legal but maybe it is?" So basically, her fiance wants to pay her to have his kids, which sounds sketchy AF to us.
The woman revealed that she was turning to Reddit to help give her some clarity on the situation, especially since she didn't trust her fiance's father to have her best interests in mind. She wrote, "My main question is are all these clauses enforceable in court? What makes any of them invalid? I haven't signed yet and would like to get insight from someone other than my future father in law as I feel he may mislead me if his son were to benefit from it. I live in Manhattan, New York City if that helps."
Alarm bells were ringing all over the post, as a lot of experienced Redditors pitched in with their inputs and insights. A common thread that ran across all the advice was for the woman to get her own lawyer. User WillyNilly oogle wrote, "Definitely consult your own lawyer. Remember marriage is a partnership and you have assets to protect as well as he does - you should not sign his prenup, you should both sign a prenup that protects you both."
The user continued, "So for example, assuming you are ok with his stipulations, have counter stipulations - what if he cheats? What about his weight? (Men gain weight too!) And about those kids he wants you to have - what if one of you is infertile and you use medical interventions (surrogate, egg donor, sperm donor, etc) or adopt - are there protections or clauses for that situation? Are there other concerns you have? Etc."
Another user, beentheredonethatx2 wrote that she needed to be worried about having to lose weight after childbirth more than the compensation clause. "I've seen a few compensation for children clauses, so I'd guess that is either common or at minimum; not crazy. The losing weight thing is insane. What is the penalty if weight is not lost...walk away with nothing? So if you ever wanted to get into powerlifting (and the muscle mass that brings), you can't with this guy. Get your own lawyer."
User MatrixKape suggested that she add in some clauses of her own: "You can also make him sign some conditions. Eg. If he goes bald, he needs to pay you some amount. If he is unfaithful, all conditions of the prenup are null and void." User Karissa38 even encouraged her to sign it, revealing that conflict of interest would make the prenup unenforceable.
She wrote, "Not all prenups will hold up in court. You know what kind of prenup is highly unlikely to ever be legally enforceable? One where the prospective bride's attorney was the prospective groom's father." The user continued, "As long as your future father-in-law is your attorney there is a 99.9 percent chance it will not be enforceable. This is practically the definition of a conflict of interest."
User marissadewey suggested that the woman cover for all possible scenarios that would prevent the woman from losing weight in the required time, mentioning post-partum depression (PPD) as well: "You need a lawyer to represent your interests here. If I were in your shoes, I’d want a counter clause saying that he needs to provide childcare and a personal trainer, nutritionist and chef to come to your home while you’re trying to meet his unrealistic expectations."
She continued, "Weight doesn’t always come off, no matter how hard you work at it, and it’s going to be a struggle when you’re caring for an infant while trying to lose a little over half a pound per week. Also, keep in mind that if you’ll be breastfeeding, that impacts your body weight as well (you need more calories to produce milk). That’s not even considering the possibility of PPD or other issues that may prevent you from meeting this expectation."
Whether or not the woman takes the advice and lawyers up, we're still amazed by the fact that she's willing to marry someone with these crazy demands. We hope she sorts through her prenup issues and finds true love and happiness despite the strange expectations.