Whoopi Goldberg values her freedom. She realized she does not want to be answerable to anyone.
Sometimes we follow the crowd and take decisions based on what everybody's life looks like or is supposed to look like. In doing so, we forget what we need as individuals. American celebrity Whoopi Goldberg went through such a phase. Whoopi, known for her multifaceted career, married three times only to realize she was never in love with anyone.
Whoopi looked back at her failed relationships and said she realized what had gone wrong. In retrospect, she said, “It took me some time but I realized that trying to turn myself into something I wasn’t ready for, for a man. Wasn’t his fault. It was mine.” She added, "My commitment was never that strong. I can say now that I was never really in love," said the 65-year-old, according to Celebrity 9.
According to Closer Weekly, Whoopi married for the first time when she was just 18 years old. Married to Alvin Martin, the daytime talk show host became a mother that year, Alex that year. But her relationship with Martin was short-lived and the two parted ways in 1979.
Years later, Whoopi tied the knot again. She got married to cinematographer David Claessen in 1986. The marriage lasted for two years and Whoopi moved on to another marriage after a couple of years. She tied the knot for the third time with actor and ITSE union organizer Lyle Trachtenberg in 1994. Just after a year, the couple parted ways.
It took her years to realize what she really wanted as an individual. She revealed it was the people and the society around her that motivated her to get married. "Look, people expect you to have a boyfriend... get married. So I kept trying to do that, but I didn’t want to share information with somebody else," said Whoopi, according to Oprah Magazine.
Moreover, she thought getting married would make her feel normal. "It seemed to me that if I was married I’d have a much more normal life. Clearly, that’s not the case. That’s not a good reason to get married. You have to actually want a life with someone through ups and downs. I just discovered that wasn’t for me," said Whoopi.
As years went by, Whoopi found she was more of a private person who did not like being questioned on the things she intended to do. "I didn’t want anybody asking me why I was doing what I was doing, or to have to make the other person feel better. But if you’re in a relationship, you have to do those things, and it took me a while to figure out that I didn’t want to," said Whoopi.
She added, "One day I thought: I don’t have to do this. I don’t have to conform. I tried marriage, and it wasn’t for me. You can’t be in marriage because everybody’s expecting you to."
With much more clarity in her life, Whoopi says there is one possible way she would ever commit to another marriage. According to CheatSheet, she said, “The only way I could be married to anybody ever again is if they lived in another country." She continued, “They could come and visit, it would be like ‘Oh, my goodness, I haven’t seen you in so long. Come here!'"
Despite all this, Whoopi believes in love at first sight. But on a weighing scale, her freedom is more valuable. "I’m much happier on my own. I can spend as much time with somebody as I want to spend, but I’m not looking to be with somebody forever or live with someone. I don’t want somebody in my house."