We might like many people, we will even have more than one crush at a time. But love... we love only three people with everything in us. And each of those loves signifies who we are and what we need to learn at that point in time.
Love isn't what Hollywood movies make it out to be - boy meets girl, they fall in love, something tears them apart and then by the end, they're back together and living happily ever after. But in the real world, it's quite different. While the lucky few strike gold in the very first try, others experience love, true love, three times in their lives. And it happens with different people, under different circumstances, and for reasons that allow us to grow into who we are today.
Each one of these relationships has taught us something that gave us the ability to stand strong and become who we were meant to be.
Looking back at your first love, you probably can't believe how naive and innocent you were. It might even embarrass you a little, thinking about it now. But at the time, you were just stepping out into a new world of love and romance. You were still forming your identity and looking for an exciting experience with your first-ever ideals about love.
After all, when you were that young, you were influenced by what society chose to show you. But now that you're older and wiser, your high-school or college love was probably not the best example of what real love is really like. As the cracks began to form on the fairytale, that's when you began to form your own ideas about what you want from a partner.
Sometimes, thinking about it might bring back a hint of sadness that what you had with your first love did not last. But it only renewed your vigor to find someone who could be with you without the bubble you lived in before.
This love might have been the scariest one but also the most exhilarating. In the beginning of this relationship, you had the idea that the new you was ready for love. But it was in this phase of life that you learnt you don't always get the love you deserve.
Your vulnerabilities were exposed, perhaps with a partner who either did not know how to make you feel safe, or maybe even with someone who found it was easy to manipulate you. However, this was also the time you began to identify your self-worth and understood the value of self-respect. So everything toxic and negative about that love, you were able to recognize. All that deceit and selfishness from your partner taught you to sense it better and better until you knew not to find yourself in such a relationship ever again.
Yet, you remember you were very reluctant to let go of this love.
The physical connection you had was not something you wanted to lose. You probably recall making some of the same mistakes that you made with your first love. But what matters more was that you came out of it understanding what it meant to put real effort into the relationship, through all the tough times. And it was at this point that you knew what you really wanted from your relationship.
They say that third time is the charm and it really is. By the time you get into this relationship, you know who you are. You are comfortable with the person you have grown into and have found someone who feels the same way. It is completely different from what you've seen and been through before.
Here is when both of you are equals. You share your concerns and insecurities with each other, secure in the knowledge that you'll be there for each other. The respect you have for one another keeps your relationship healthy. There are moments of discord and unhappiness, but by this time, you've found a partner who will stand by you through all of it. For you, connecting emotionally to your partner just makes everything worthwhile. The bond between you two is rock solid and nothing can break it.