You don't want to grow older by leaving your beloved partner behind. Make the little things count and your love will never fade away.
Nobody who's been in a longterm relationship would ever say that their relationship is exactly as it was when they first got together. Both you and your partner are constantly growing and the needs of your relationship are growing along with you. And along the way, all it takes to make sure you don't grow apart are a few simple things that your partner and you are willing to do. Here's what you do to make sure there's no distance that's growing bigger in your relationship.
It's little rituals that make your bond stronger and turning one day every week into a special night just for the two of you gives you both a chance to laugh away together, go back to the same restaurant where you had your first date, or sip on your favorite bottle of wine while reminiscing the old times and talk about your future together “Plan a regular date night and commit to talking about anything but the kids, reminisce about [your] dating days and share something that the other doesn’t know about that period of time,” said clinical psychologist, Meredith Hansen, according to Psych Central.
Having conflict in the relationship will not always pull you both apart, but not expressing your feelings in the right way definitely can. "Couples that avoid conflict because they don't want to move out of the 'honeymoon phase' are couples that suppress feelings and emotions for fear of being different," said relationship therapist, Margo Regan, according to Bustle. Letting each other know how you truly feel and finding ways to satisfy both of your needs could be the secret to your healthy relationship.
Being attentive to your partner's needs as much as your own makes a huge difference in a relationship. "When both parties feel they are understood, ideally the couple can relax and not worry," said Dr. Diane Strachouski, licensed psychologist and relationship therapist. Moreover, there's nothing that makes your partner feel more loved than accepting them the way they are without trying to change their quirks. And when they do the same for you, it cements your bond with each other and helps you both go the distance.
Just like you make time for your partner, it's important that you make time for yourself as well. Time spent alone will help you understand yourself better, and of course, remind you of all the reasons you love your partner. It helps you get in touch with your own needs; the more self-aware you are, the better you are at meeting the needs of your relationship. "Understanding your tendencies, your love language, your strengths, and your weaknesses will help you foster a more compassionate, trustworthy, and healthy partnership," says relationship expert Leigh Isaacson.
“Relationships thrive on novelty,” said Ashley Davis Bush, a psychotherapist who specializes in couples therapy. Trying new things together helps you break out of the regular routine and keep things as exciting. A new hobby or a new restaurant or going out on a new adventure will make sure that you both don't become complacent or lose the spark in the relationship. "It doesn’t have to be some kind of big romantic gesture. Small things can also make a difference," said Celia Schweyer, dating expert. "What’s important is, you never stop making each other feel loved."
It's important to make sure that your sexual chemistry doesn't fizzle out. Every relationship can have its own sexual patterns, based on what you and your partner like, but it's important that you both understand each other and don't hesitate to talk about it. “Couples who do not grow apart continue to maintain a satisfying physical relationship,” said Hansen. It helps to make sex a part of your regular conversations and making it a priority or taking out time for it could be of great help.
"Create an environment where each partner always feels they can express their desires, whatever they may be," Anne Moyer, who's been married for almost 15 years, told Insider. "Perhaps the other partner isn't willing to fulfill that desire, but is willing to listen, and perhaps find an alternative that both are comfortable with." Your partner should be the one person that you can comfortably share anything with, and you should be equally patient when it comes to listening to them.