6 Ways Emotional Abuse Has Changed The Way You Love In A Relationship

6 Ways Emotional Abuse Has Changed The Way You Love In A Relationship

For a long time, you stop yourself from falling in love again because every time you are close to it, those painful memories come of abuse hold you back.

One may think that the storm is over once you leave an emotionally abusive relationship. But the truth is that the battle is not over yet. The hurt you felt can't just be washed away, the scars don't heal overnight, and worst of all, the painful memories can't be erased.

You may badly wish that you can tear the pages of the abusive chapter out of your life, but it is there and it will remain there. What does help you put yourself back together and getting the support you need. As you do so, you find that there's so much about you that has changed, including the way you approach new relationships and the way you fall in love. Coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship can change the way you love in these ways.

1. You are slow to trust but once you do, you are all in

After having put your trust in someone you thought would love and protect you, you have seen how badly your trust can be misused. Today, you take your time to trust someone and you don't easily give your heart to anyone who promises to take care of it. But once you see that the person is worth your trust, you are ready to dive in and put your best foot forward in the relationship.

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2. You doubt people's motives but realize there is still good in the world

There are still moments that instantly take you back to the abuse you faced. And it makes you question every word and action of the person you are trying to build a new relationship with. Eventually, you see that one warm-hearted person come along, who has no ulterior motives and only wants to give you a wholesome relationship; they see you for all that you're worth and remind you of all your strengths. And that's when you believe, once again after so long, that there is still good in the world. 

3. You left your relationship damaged but you go into a new one with bravery

All those times your abuser convinced you that you were "ugly" or "stupid" or "not good enough" were drilled into your head. When you walked away from the relationship, your self-belief was damaged and bruised. But with time, you put your self-esteem back together and find the strength that's been inside you for so long but wasn't tapped into. And you're able to walk into a new relationship with bravery, unwilling to tolerate any more manipulation from your new partner.

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4. You've learned to pick yourself up and be independent in relationships

To heal from an emotionally abusive relationship is one of the toughest ordeals that anyone can be put through. It's a real journey that tests your mettle. And going on that journey with your head held high has taught you how to pick yourself up, take care of yourself more, and not stop until you get what you deserve. When you finally do get into a relationship, you will be more independent, knowing that even if you lean on your partner, you won't need them to keep walking forward.

5. You've seen how bad things can be, so you cherish all the good

You know how traumatic it can be when your relationship turns into a living nightmare. You broke out of a relationship that felt more like a trap than anything else. It's because of this that you are now able to cherish the good when it comes your way. You no longer take things for granted and you are thankful to anyone who is able to show you love and respect. You are more than grateful to be with someone who doesn't put you in a constant state of worry. 

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6. You are prepared for the worst because you know things can change within moments

From sleepless nights to heart-wrenching days, only you know how it felt like to always walk around eggshells with your abusive partner. You can now recognize the signs and you're prepared for the worst. You have seen how the person you fall in love with can change into someone you can't recognize. And you're not going to let yourself fall into the same web of abuse again. You walk into a new relationship hoping for the best, whilst wearing an armor of all the important lessons that you learned.

Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.