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7 Ways A Narcissist Convinces You It's Your Fault Even When It's Not

7 Ways A Narcissist Convinces You It's Your Fault Even When It's Not

You may have done nothing wrong, and yet you will be the one apologizing because they can make you believe anything.

When narcissism is mentioned, you tend to picture someone who is self-absorbed and completely ignores those around. But the truth is, there's a lot more to narcissism and we often tend to ignore it because narcissists are also master manipulators. Spending time with one or being in a relationship with a narcissist can slowly make your soul wither away. Everything about you — from your self-esteem to the confidence you have in yourself — starts falling apart until you lose the very aspects of your personality that make you who you are. And a narcissist does this by justifying their toxic behavior. They manage to prove that you're the one who's wrong and these are the signs.

1. They will do anything to convince you that they are right

A narcissist will have built themselves up in their head so much that they actually believe they are above everyone else. They are convinced that they are always right and the conviction with which they look outside, and not within, when something goes wrong will hardly make you doubt them. This only makes you question your own actions and decisions further. The damage can be such that their behavior will even make you question the milestones you cross. Even when you've done something successfully, they will never genuinely compliment you. They might say, "anybody can do that" or "you just got lucky this time" because they can't stand seeing someone else do better than them.

2. They always give excuses for breaking their promises

The words of a narcissist can never be trusted blindly. They may say one thing and do the exact opposite the very next moment, and then tell you that they never said anything in the first place. When it comes to trust, honesty and basic rules of a relationship, narcissists don't bother with any of them. They will expect you to be extremely loyal and honest to them and follow all the rules of a relationship. But when it comes to them, narcissists will think that they are above the rules.

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3. They turn the tables around and say you're the one to blame

Narcissists are the kind of people who will do anything to shift the attention towards themselves, and they are willing to be overdramatic for it. They tend to play mind games and even go back on their word, just to make themselves the victim and make you think it's your fault. They might be the ones who are overly possessive over you, who go through your phone and keep tabs on where you go and who you meet. But they will make you feel responsible for it, justifying their lack of boundaries by blaming your actions for it. 

4. They find your weak points and use them against you

First, they will make you comfortable with them, enough for you to want to open up and be vulnerably honest with them. They would have carefully observed your every move and every word. They start noticing what your weak points are, what makes you feel insecure and doubt your decisions. And when they see the need to bend you to their will, they will use your insecurities against you.

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5. They manipulate you into believing that you're the reason for everything wrong

Eventually, they will start blaming you for everything that is going wrong in the relationship. They might even make you believe that you deserve being treated that way. A narcissistic partner might say, "nobody would love a woman like you" or "you don't deserve better". But all they are trying to do is weaken your self-esteem that will actually make you believe their hurtful words.

6. They isolate you, making you more likely to believe them

One of the most dangerous things a narcissist does is isolate you from your friends and family until you have nothing left but the world of negativity they've built for you. This is how they'll ensure they have you around when you have no one else to turn to but them. When you reach a point where you only trust the narcissist, it becomes all the more easier for them to justify their toxic behavior because there's nobody else you can open up to. They would even go as far as to lie to you and make you believe that you can't trust your loved ones. They make sure you have access to nobody who can tell you that you need to walk out of the relationship.

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7. They slowly destroy your confidence until you believe everything they say

They suck all the positivity out of you, making you feel completely empty. They force you to think that you're the one going crazy and they are the ones who are perfectly normal. You might stop believing in yourself completely, or trusting your instincts. And when they know that your guard is lowered down, they latch on to you because they know you are at your weakest and will never question them.

A narcissist could come into your life from anywhere and you wouldn't even know it until it's too late. If you notice any of these signs, don't let them convince you that everything they say is right and everything you say is wrong. If things get out of hand, it's best to end the relationship before you are left with deep emotional and psychological wounds.