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How You Deal With Conflict In A Relationship Can Reveal A Lot About Your Personality

How You Deal With Conflict In A Relationship Can Reveal A Lot About Your Personality

Do you tend to agree to everything your partner says or do you stand up for your own opinions? Here's what it says about the way you are in a relationship.

Even the happiest relationships and healthiest marriages have conflicts. When two people with two different personalities choose to share their lives with each other, it's normal to experience a few disagreements here and there. But the way you deal with these arguments is not random. It, in fact, reveals a lot about the kind of person you are with them. How you handle conflicts with your partner can reveal a lot about your relationship and the kind of connection you have with your partner. When it comes to conflicts with your partner, which of the following roles do you take on?

1. The Blame Game

When your partner makes everything a competition, where they are desperately trying to win every argument, they might have a competitive style of handling conflicts. For many, this turns into a blame game where they end up pointing fingers at their partner and refuse to take any responsibility whatsoever.

The competitive streak means they would not hesitate to be manipulative to get what they want and come out on top. They can even resort to more than just blaming their partner. They may even turn aggressive, attacking, and even threatening to their partner, according to VIACONFLICT.

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If they seem to be doing this because they're unwilling to accept fault or simply looking to blame you or make you feel guilty, it indicates a particularly toxic relationship. The competitive streak may also make them want to get back at you later, trying to "get even". It can leave you feeling extremely unsatisfied and emotionally hurt, according to a report by CRplus. Those who have a competitive approach to arguments in a relationship may tend to focus on only their needs, failing to see the needs of your partner.

2. The Avoider

This is often seen in the people who hate confrontation. The Avoider would rather not talk about the problem at all in an attempt to avoid the conflict that'll arise from it. This could also be because you are more concerned about your partner's feelings over your own. You are more likely to ignore the problem or "sidestep" over them rather than confront your partner about them. You might often think “I don’t see any problem. Things are fine the way they are” even when it may not be so, according to saylordotorg.github.io.

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Being the avoider might be okay when the issues in the relationship only have short-term effects. Sometimes, it's okay to avoid certain issues when you see that having a heated argument over it is not worth it. But continuously avoiding the problems that you and your partner have can pile up and turn into something worse. It's best to try and be open with your partner about how you feel. Because, after all, your relationship should be a safe space where both the people can share their feelings without hesitation or fear of judgment or conflict.

3. The Accommodator

An accommodating type of personality would mean that you are completely okay with settling for your partner's needs even when you have to give up your own needs for it. Your first and foremost priority is the relationship between you and your partner. If you tend to hear yourself say things like "We'll go with your idea" or "Since it's what you care about, we'll do it", then you probably have an accommodating way of dealing with conflicts in your relationship with your partner.

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However, when you constantly give up your own opinion on a certain thing for the sake of your partner, you might be neglecting your own voice and individuality in the relationship. It's important that your opinions and needs are acknowledged too, rather than your partner's needs taking centre stage all the time. It might not be healthy for you in the long run when your relationship is always about your partner and never about you. Try to be more assertive about what you want when you deal with conflicts.

4. The Compromiser

Having a compromising way of dealing with conflicts would show that you want to meet the middle-ground with your partner. When you and your partner are arguing about something, you try to come up with a solution where both your needs are satisfied, rather than just having one person's views acknowledged. You might often say "let's meet each other halfway in this" so that you can find a good solution to what you're fighting over.

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You and your partner are both ready to sacrifice a little bit so that you can come to a compromise. What this shows about you is that you are able to stand up for your needs but you also know that you need to respect the needs of your partner's as well. When you both are able to do this for each other, it often means that you both are able to meet halfway when you have to deal with problems.

The Collaborator

When you have a collaborative personality while dealing with conflicts, you are able to be assertive about your needs and also, cooperate with your partner at the same time. You believe in having open and healthy discussions where both, yours and your partner's sides of the story are heard, and find a way to resolve the conflict in a way that both are heard and not leaving one feeling ignored.

You are not afraid to positively challenge your partner but you would never impose your thoughts on them. You both might disagree and you both might find faults in each other's point of view, but you both don't settle for a solution unless it will leave you both satisfied.

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Dealing with conflicts in this manner can possibly strike a balance between what you want and what your partner wants. When you see that your partner patiently listens to what you have to say without making it seem like a competition, it can make you feel more satisfied and happy with your relationship.

References:

https://crana.org.au/uploads/pdfs/Other_44.pdf
https://viaconflict.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/five-negotiation-styles/
https://saylordotorg.github.io/text_human-relations/s13-03-conflict-management.html