He remembered the final moments before his wife's death and said, "We knew it was the end, we were cuddling her. I kissed her a lot and told her I loved her. I kept saying: ‘I love you, I love you'."
"I never told her she was dying," Vinnie Jones said. "We never spoke of that, I didn’t want her to know."
In the last week of his wife, Tanya's life, the doctors told Vinnie Jones that there were no more treatments after she'd been battling cancer for years. "I begged doctors not to tell her she was nearing the end when things got really bad," Jones told Sunday Mirror. "We just couldn’t talk about her dying because I just couldn’t accept it."
The famed footballer and actor took his wife home where she went on to spend her last few days. "We got some beautiful innocent moments in those last days," he said. "...Some of the moments would make you laugh. These were very special moments."
The two of them had been devoted to each other as husband and wife for about two and a half decades. Now, the grieving husband still remembers the last few moments of her life before she passed away on July 6, 2019, surrounded by all her loved ones in the room. The 54-year-old said, "We knew it was the end, we were cuddling her. I kissed her a lot and told her I loved her. I kept saying: ‘I love you, I love you."
"It was all very peaceful, then her gasps got less and less and she went quiet," Jones said, shedding tears as he recalls it all. "I looked at the nurse and said: ‘Has she gone?’ And that was it. It all happened so quickly, you are not prepared for it. So we sat there for an hour with her. We were completely numb. It was as though she was still sleeping. But she was gone. When she finally went it felt like Tinker Bell had released from her. It felt like her spirit was moving in the room. I got peace from that."
What gave him some sort of closure was seeing something later that night, which Jones believes is a sign from his wife. He said, "We were outside until about midnight but I was the last to go to bed. With Tanya, she would always blow me a kiss and I would catch it and carry it with me. I went to go in and I looked up and there was a small white light up straight above me. I thought it was strange."
He went on to say. "It was right there above the house. So I went: 'Is that you babe?' But the light didn’t move. Then as I went in, I turned, blew her a kiss and threw it." To him, that light seemed like her saying "'we are all done, everything is good. I’m up there, I’m going to wait for you.'"
To comfort her husband after she passed, Tanya had also left Jones with a love letter that she wrote herself before slipping away at the age of 53. After reading it, "I broke down. Now, I take it everywhere I go so Tanya is always with me. She left it with her precious diaries."
On the outside, the white card read out the words, 'Always Believe Something Wonderful is Going to Happen'.
"Inside she had written: 'To my love Vin, something wonderful happens to me every day. It’s being with you. You are my morning sunshine the moment I wake. All my love, Tanya.' I broke down when I read it because I loved her like that too."
He strongly believes it when he says "we found true love" and added, "an outsider might say, he’s doing well. But in the evenings, I’ve cried almost every night."
Believing that he will eventually join her, he said, "I’m content to crash through the rest of my life in Heaven’s waiting room until Tanya calls me. The rest of my life is not a long time if we are going to be together for eternity. But I want to live to do the right thing by our daughter, Kaley, and Tanya’s family. But she’ll call me when the time is right."