When your needs, your feelings, and your emotions always come second to theirs, you start suffocating in the relationship when you're the only one compromising.
They may say the words "I love you" over and over again, but it means nothing when their actions say something completely different. It hurts deeply to feel like the one you love is the very same person who's making you feel like you're always losing in the relationship. Most of the time, it doesn't seem like a big deal while other times it may be glaringly obvious, but when you see that your partner is constantly doing these things, it's most likely that they have stopped valuing you.
You might always be available, giving your everything to the relationship and to your partner. But when you give your opinions or voice your needs in the relationship and see that they don't listen to you, it shows how they don't respect what you have to say. If you're always doing what they want, going where they want to go, and following their decisions as they call all the shots in the relationship, it shows how they are fighting for the upper hand in the relationship.
It might be a friend or a family member, but when you're constantly being compared to someone else by your partner, it makes you doubt your worth. When you're able to look past their flaws and love them for who they are, it's only fair that they do the same for you rather than exaggerate your weaknesses. It makes you start losing your confidence and with time, your partner might even be able to convince you that this is the kind of love you deserve when really you deserve more.
A relationship is meant to be a safe space where you can freely express anything that's on your mind and not have the fear of being judged by the very person you love. But seeing that your partner belittles your feelings and says you're overreacting, you're always going to feel like you're not being heard enough in the relationship. "If you notice that your significant other is showing little interest when you’re talking, it may be a sign of [a] lack of respect," said Justin Lavelle, dating expert told Bustle.
An understanding partner would be able to take ownership of their actions and admit it when they've done something wrong or hurtful. But at the end of every argument, when you're always the one taking the blame, it shows how your partner may use negative ways just to prove that they're right and you're wrong. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, author and professor, called guilt a 'manipulation tactic', in Psychology Today. If your partner lashes out and coerces you into agreeing with them all the time, it will eventually feel like you can never catch a break with your partner.
Being yourself is one of the best parts about having a loving partner beside you. But when you see that your partner is always criticizing you for the way you are or the things you do, it slowly eats away bits of the parts that make you who you are. "If you feel like you’re losing yourself to be with the one you love, that’s another red flag that your partner doesn’t see you as an equal," said psychotherapist Margena Carter.
The only way you know you can trust your partner is when you see that they are there with you not just for the good parts but also for the bad. When your partner is only there for you when things are going great but bails out the moment things get difficult, it's a sign that they're not willing to put enough effort into making things work. "They may be unreliable or inconsistent in their interest in you," said couples and family therapist Tracy K. Ross. "This is conveyed through inconsistent time commitment, lack of considering your needs, and a lack of interest in your life and stresses."
No matter how much you give to the relationship, if your partner makes it all seem like it's not good enough, you will always second-guess yourself every day. Constantly having your efforts undermined will eventually cripple your self-esteem, and if your partner is still watching this happen to you, they might intentionally be hurting you. "A true sign of disrespect occurs when your partner purposely hurts your feelings," said Lavelle. "...There’s really no excuse for hurting someone you supposedly care about."