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7 Things Every Grown-Up Mama's Boy Needs To Know Before Entering A Relationship With A Strong Woman

7 Things Every Grown-Up Mama's Boy Needs To Know Before Entering A Relationship With A Strong Woman

You might get away with acting like a child in front of your mother, but in a mature relationship, you need to be a man who can take care of yourself and be supportive of your woman.

Before we move into the topic, let's get one thing straight. A strong woman respects a man who treats all the women in his life well, including his mom, friends, sisters, colleagues, etc. She admires a man who takes care of his mom with love. What she does not respect is a grown-up man who needs his mommy's approval for everything. Someone who has to keep her involved in all decisions and doesn't understand personal boundaries in relationships. 

A strong woman never fights for attention. Yet, she expects her man to know that romantic relationships require some space and privacy that are not under the nosy purview of an over-curious mother. If you are a grown-up mama's boy who thinks you can get away with having your partner take the sideline, here is what you should know before you enter a relationship with a strong woman. 

1. She's not going to clean up after you as your mother did

Whenever your mother is around, you might turn into the little boy that you once were because you're so used to her doing everything for you, from laundry to cooking. But when you're in a romantic relationship, don't expect your partner to clean the mess that you made. Marni Feuerman, a clinical social worker and a marriage and family therapist, wrote for Verywell Mind, "He can act like a boy with his mother all he wants, but when he is with you, he should act like a man who can take care of himself."

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2. Don't bother comparing her to your mom; she is her own person

If you have the image of "the perfect woman" in your life, she probably looks, talks, cooks, dresses, and acts like your mother. And your partner is probably tired of hearing you say, "my mom used to do it this way" or "this tastes yummy, but my mom adds more cilantro". It's time you take your blinders off and see all the wonderful traits your partner comes with, appreciate all that they do for you, and do the same for them in return. P.S. A strong woman will never fit into a cookie-cutter mold; if you expect her to fit into stereotypical roles, she will not think twice to break it—including the relationship. 

3. She has other things to do than be at your beck and call

Some men just don't shake off their little boy expectations, even if they are with an independent woman who handles both work and home like a pro. Your mother may have let you be the center of her attention, but your wife or girlfriend is in no way obligated to do the same. You cannot expect her to drop everything and listen to your grand idea (even if it is a stroke of genius). She has things to do of her own. While a strong woman in love is open to be flexible and supportive, she will not be ready to make you the center of her world. You may have been your mom's knight in shining armor, but a strong woman can fight her own battles. Thank you.

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4. Her benchmark for success and relationship is different from your mom's

Don't expect your partner to live the rest of her life trying to meet the benchmark defined by your mom. You might believe your mom is always right, while your partner may respect it when it is reasonable, she will refuse to play dumb just to get her approval. She will challenge you and your mom if she encounters biases or assumptions. She may not be rude, but she will never be a doormat. If you find yourself overly-dependent on your mother, it's about time you started making choices for yourself. You and your partner are a couple and there's no room for a third person in your relationship, especially not an overbearing mother. 

5. If you can't make your own decisions, she will lose interest in you

Mama knows best. That could be true, but not always. If your mom is controlling or overbearing, you need to get real and objective about it. "A romantic relationship is doomed to suffer if a new husband relies too heavily on his mother for anything, whether it is money, approval or emotional support," Seth Meyers, licensed clinical psychologist, author, and relationship expert wrote for Psychology Today. "Inevitably, she becomes triangulated into the relationship between the couple and becomes the object of razor-sharp resentment from the wife."

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6. She will never tolerate disrespect; if you don't stand up for her, she will defend herself

When your mom is sad, you might be sad. When your mom asks for something, you might drop everything and rush to her. A strong woman understands all this. She might even admire you for your sweet gestures. But if your mom insults your partner, and you say nothing or worse, take her side, then you are what we call a "mean mommy's boy." A relationship requires two adults who will protect each other and be there for each other. If you let your mom or anyone disrespect your partner, you don't deserve her in the first place. If your mom is possessive about you, it doesn't mean they're allowed to let their jealousy turn into contempt against your wife or girlfriend. If you don't have the guts to stand up to your mother, you can watch your partner do it. Maybe, you might learn a thing or two from it as well. 

7. She prefers to keep the relationship a sacred space with strong boundaries

No independent woman will want her life or her relationship with you to be closely monitored or observed. It is very important for the two of you to decide how much time you are willing to give to extended family and other people. If your mom arrives unannounced every weekend, don't expect your woman to be okay with it. And all things told in confidence need to be kept secret because that is who couples who respect each other maintain privacy. This doesn't mean you have to choose between your mother and your partner. It just means that you have to respect them both and know where to draw the line. Three is a crowd, anyway.

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Disclaimer: This article is based on insights gathered from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.

References:
https://www.verywellmind.com/ways-to-handle-mamas-boy-husband-4050817
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201201/married-mamas-boys-make-great-friends-bad-husbands