Physical and emotional connection is the foundation of any relationship. You may have reached a point where you no longer seem to enjoy the physical relationship and are starting to show your lack of interest in different ways.
When it comes to long term relationships, many of think it is due to a deeper connection that the two people share. However, successful relationships are based on more than love and emotional connection. Intimacy and physical compatibility, too, have an equal role to play. Those have been in successful long term relationships would know that sex is just as much part of making it work as emotional fulfillment is.
They would also tell you that emotional and physical intimacy go hand in hand. After all, how well you're willing to satisfy your partner is an expression of love. And if you're not getting the same from your relationship, it could be a sign it's time to step things up.
You would have enjoyed a steamy romance and a passionate sex life in the first few years together but as time passes by, many find it difficult to maintain the initial spark. You might lose interest in communicating your sexual needs and may no longer enjoy it.
Here are a few signs you're not enjoying your sex life as much as you would want to.
A relationship should create safe space for two individuals to express each other without any inhibitions or barriers. You should be able to talk about your emotional and physical relationship without no fear of judgement. However, if this is not the case, it may jeopardize your relationship. Sara Berry, sex and relationship therapist says that starting a conversation regarding your fantasies outside your bedroom may be a good idea. "If you do feel you want to share your fantasies," she says "I would suggest talking about this outside of the bedroom and away from the flirty talk."
You partner is kissing you and trying to please you but all you want is for your partner to climax so you can be done with it. There's a certain lack of interest in connecting with your partner physically, and it's even worse if they're aware of it and choose to do nothing about it. In such cases, it could be a sign that your relationship is in trouble. You may be going with the flow but if there's reluctance to try new things in bed, at least in an attempt to reconnect physically, then it should be taken as a sign of concern.
During the initial days of your relationship, things were steamy and exciting. You organically initiated sex and found it enjoyable. However, over time you lost your interest in sexual activities. While experts say it is normal for one partner to take the lead particularly in sex, if only one person person in the relationship is initiating it all the time, it could inidcate there problems in your relationship that need to be addressed. There might be several reasons that might have led to this. “...it can mean they're less interested in you sexually or that your relationship has cooled off since the beginning,” says Kelley Kitley, psychotherapist.
While your partner may initially have no problem, they might later feel frustrated and insecure. Therefore, if you have concerns, it is important for you to raise it to your partner. “You need to have a serious discussion about what you both want and how much sex is desired by both of you,” says Kitley.
You don't seem to enjoy any sexual activity with your partner because you feel that they focus more themselves than you. You feel that you are not connected to your partner emotionally and you may not be feeling the same old love from them. At the beginning of your relationship, your partner made you feel sexy and wanted but as days passed by, you no longer feel that your partner wants you. "If you read female erotica, just about all of it has this quality, where this person wants her. In Fifty Shades Of Grey, it's more about the fact that Christian Grey wants her when he could have anyone," explains Thomas.
You may have spent a lot of good times with your partner but if you feel that you are no longer attracted to them, it will begin to show in the relationship. "Women in long term relationships lose their sex drive more readily than men," says Kate Thomas, director of clinical services in the sexual behaviors consultation unit at the Johns Hopkins Hospital. "For women, if the emotional connection is lost in a relationship, that can color how much sexual desire there is," says Thomas. Whatever may be the reason, it is important for you to open up to your partner and find solutions to resolve the issues you face.
Every time your partner puts their arms over you, you may either find a way to deflect their advances with an excuse, or simply shut them down right away with a line, "not today." According to Psychology Today, regular rejection from a partner can affect the other individual in a very negative manner. "..regular rejection and how it wore them down over time, made them question themselves and their relationship, and ultimately had a negative impact on their self-esteem. They also indicated that having their advances rejected over and over again actually decreased their own level of interest in sex," quoted Psychology Today, based on a study.