Your anxiety is why you're not able to fully give in to the beauty of falling in love with your partner and having a lasting relationship.
You have the most loving partner in the world who says all the right things and cares for you. But there is always a nagging worry at the back of your head that one wrong word or action means the relationship going downhill. In place of all the patience and kindness that is supposed to make up a relationship, you are constantly anxious. This anxiety fills you with doubt and helplessness, thus not allowing yourself to open up to the beautiful possibilities your relationship is capable of.
If you experience the following in your relationship, it could be that you have relationship anxiety:
A lot of times, you can't help but obsess over every word your partner says or every little thing that they do. You find yourself thinking about it over and over again, wondering whether it was really a joke; you might be overly critical of them, constantly questioning whether it was really a mistake or was it on purpose. When the anxiety takes over, it points your mind to the worst conclusions, not allowing yourself to enjoy the beauty and comfort of the present moments with your partner.
Every time you try to be spontaneous with your partner or take the next big step in the relationship, you might see the bitter memories from your past relationship come rushing back. So, you hold yourself back from giving a real commitment to your present partner, afraid that you'll have your heart broken once again. The fear of the relationship failing comes in the way of you holding your partner's hand and taking the next step together.
Whenever you think that things are going well in the relationship, your mind suddenly pulls you back into a whirlwind of negative thoughts and you find your emotions spiraling out of control. Sometimes, when you lose control of your emotions, you might not just hurt yourself but you might hurt your partner as well, becoming irrational or going verbally out of control and then completely regretting it later.
Your partner might be fully committed to you and they may be fully worth putting your trust in. Yet, you start thinking of the worst when they are 15 minutes late from getting back home or you wonder whether they will remain faithful to you when they are not around you. It might not be that your partner cannot be trusted, but you might have a hard time fully trusting them and so, it manifests into being overly possessive of them, because of which, you can't make the right decisions in the relationship.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving your partner wholeheartedly. However, when your love for them is getting in the way of the love you give yourself, it can put your emotional wellbeing on the line. Try to strike a balance in the relationship where both your needs are equally met and you are not constantly suppressing or avoiding your feelings just to make your partner happy. If your partner truly loves you, they would never expect you to sacrifice your own needs for them. Having open discussions can put you at ease and together, you both can find ways to cope with the anxiety you're feeling.