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7 Red Flags That You Should Not Trust Your Partner's Words

7 Red Flags That You Should Not Trust Your Partner's Words

You often see that their words mean one thing but their actions indicate something else, which can indicate they're not reliable.

You might think that the three most important words in a relationship are "I love you". When you know that the person you're in a relationship with is someone who blindly puts their faith in you, what truly reflects the strength of the bond is how you live up to the three words, "I trust you."

"Trust is the foundation of all human connections," wrote author, Peg Streep, for Psychology Today. When your partner does these things in the relationship, they might not be worth your trust. 

1. They become defensive when you ask them a straightforward question

All that you ask for in the relationship is honesty. But when you ask your partner something that can have a simple yes-or-no answer, and you see that they are vague about their story or get too defensive, it could be a sign that they are hiding something from you. "When someone answers vaguely or tangentially about their whereabouts, either in person, via text or phone, then there is a possibility they have something to hide," psychologist, Barbara Winter told Bustle.

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2. Their words say one thing but their actions indicate something else

Words are powerful but actions can speak louder. Your partner might make promises to you and say all the right things, but if their actions don't reflect what they say, it shows how you can't count on them. "You deserve someone you can unfailingly count on," said author, Iris Krasnow, according to HuffPost. Krasnow adds that reliability is "a quality that is essential in an intimate partnership".

3. They don't seem to want to take the next step in the relationship

Relationships are all about growing together and sticking by each other's side through every step. But if your partner avoids talking about the future or seems dismissal when you talk about doing things months or years later, it could reflect how they don't see their future with you. You deserve to invest your time and energy on a relationship where you look forward to each day together and your partner is just as excited as you about the idea of growing older together.

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4. They are physically present but emotionally distant

Even when they are in the same room, sitting right next to you, you feel like their mind is miles away. Seeing that they are always distracted or disinterested in what you have to say could show how there's a discord in your emotional connection. When they say they want to be with you, they might seem committed on the surface. But when they fail to commit to you emotionally, it'll only be time before the relationship starts falling apart. 

5. Their body becomes tense when you're next to each other

It might be easy for them to lie with their words, but difficult for them to lie with their bodies. When your partner doesn't positively respond to you when you throw your arms around them, or seem to tense up when you hold their hand, it could show their level of interest in you and the relationship. Mental health counselor Aniesa Schneberger mentioned that having their arms crossed could indicate that they're being closed off, according to Reader's Digest. Aniesa Schneberger said, “The front of the body facing the front of the other person’s body is a big indicator of trust."

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6. They've started hiding things from you, including phone conversations

You and your partner should be able to share anything in the relationship. But you can tell that your partner isn't being open with you when they hide things from you or keep their phones away from you. "It’s not like you should go and check up on somebody, because that makes you the police, and that’s not healthy,” said Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and author. “But it’s to just know ‘I’m an open book in technology and if you happen to be there, there’s nothing I wouldn’t want you to see.’”

7. They have an excuse for every issue you raise

“It’s not an encouraging sign if your partner is unwilling or unable to hear your feelings, your hurt and pain and take it to heart," said John Amodeo, marriage and family therapist. When your partner doesn't take the effort to do anything about your needs and starts stonewalling you instead, "it may leave you feeling lonely, angry, or depressed, and maybe hopeless about the relationship," John Amodeo explained.

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Disclaimer: This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/tech-support/201403/the-trouble-trust
https://www.bustle.com/p/if-your-partner-does-these-7-common-things-they-may-be-hiding-something-9581127
https://www.huffingtonpost.in/entry/signs-relationship-isnt-worth-fighting-for_n_5ac7ae33e4b09d0a11937780
https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/trust-in-relationships/