You try and try but your partner refuses to meet you halfway, making you feel guilty for even expecting basic intimacy in the relationship.
There is always this aching feeling that never goes away when you're stuck in a relationship where nothing you do feels like it's enough. No matter how much you try, you still feel a distance between you and your partner. And you're left wondering if you can ever close that gap.
You know your partner is emotionally unavailable when you relate to the following signs.
To feel lonely even when you're in a relationship can be suffocating. You may spend time with your partner but you still feel like you're unheard or unseen when they pay zero attention to you. "One must be exceptionally mindful that falling in love with a person who is emotionally unavailable will result in one feeling depleted, dejected and frustrated," relationship expert, Alexis Nicole White told Elite Daily.
Because they don't take the effort to stay emotionally bonded with you, you might feel like your thoughts and your needs are never a priority for them. "They don't consider your feelings, ask about your day, or wonder about your thoughts and dreams," said Jill Sylvester, a mental health counselor and author, according to The Oprah Magazine. Even if they do ask, you feel like they're asking for the sake of it and are not truly invested in you like you are in them.
You may have given them your undivided attention and commitment, but you're always left wondering, "am I doing enough" because they are too selfish to acknowledge your effort and show you the same kind of love. You are always left wondering, "Why aren't you good enough to receive their love? Are you not smart enough, pretty enough, or interesting enough?" explained relationship, expert Susan Winter.
If you're feeling a certain way, your partner should be able to empathize with you rather than make you feel like your emotions don't matter. "They may belittle, mock, or 'laugh away' serious topics that are introduced and engage in gaslighting, a form of emotional abuse that causes the victim to question himself..." Dr. Kendra Kubala, a licensed psychologist, told Insider. Not only do you keep second-guessing yourself, but your genuine concerns are also made to feel unimportant.
It's one thing when a partner's actions hurt you but it can be just as torturing when your emotionally unavailable partner cares far too little to do anything at all. Rather than responding with warmth and reassure you when you feel insecure, they might avoid difficult conversations with you. "It’s hard to get a clear read on them and they're only available when it's convenient for them," said Dr. Catherine Jackson, a licensed clinical psychologist and board certified neurotherapist.
You deserve someone who will stick by you through all the good and bad of a relationship. But when you hit rock bottom and your partner doesn't do anything about it or refuses to make up for when they hurt you in the first place, you will always feel the weight of the blame on your shoulders alone. "They never blame themselves or take responsibility for anything that goes wrong including in past relationship," said Dr. Catherine Jackson.
Even years down the line, things turn sour when you feel like you are in a stagnant relationship. "They won't want to make future plans and don't seem excited about existing plans," Anna Morgenstern, dating and relationship coach, told Bustle. "They will most likely find ways to spend their time without you and will give little information on what they're doing." When the relationship is stuck in a rut and your partner leaves you hanging, you wonder whether they will ever care enough to respect your commitment.
The one thing you long for in a relationship may be to feel connected with your partner. But while you take the effort, they don't meet you halfway. "There's always a sense of disconnect with an emotionally unavailable partner," said Susan Winter. "Emotionally, it feels as though there's a trapdoor behind which all the goodies are hidden. If you could just find a way to pry it open, you'd finally feel loved."
Disclaimer: This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.