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7 Signs Your Partner Is Avoiding Intercourse But Doesn't Have The Heart To Tell You

7 Signs Your Partner Is Avoiding Intercourse But Doesn't Have The Heart To Tell You

They seem physically with you but emotionally they are too far away. Your every touch makes them tense and awkward.

It is perfectly normal for the sexual chemistry between two people to change over the course of a relationship. Some may even reach a point where one partner loses complete interest in the other, perhaps even wanting to avoid sex and any form of physical intimacy. While this can be a cause for concern, it is important to remember that simple things like stress can be the reason for it. However, it is also extremely important to take this as a sign that something needs to be done.

Your partner may not have the heart to say it to you, but here's how you can tell that they are losing interest in physical intimacy in the relationship.

1. They have stopped touching you the way they used to

And this is not just in bed. It can be something as simple as reaching out for your hand while talking, touching your shoulders when in the kitchen or perhaps even placing a kiss on your neck as they spontaneously hug you from the back in the kitchen. While not initiating sex can be a sign to watch to watch out for, it's a whole other thing when they stop touching you completely. “As interest begins to wane, so do displays of physical affection,” said psychologist Jamie Goldstein, according to HuffPost.

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2. They seem uncomfortable when you touch them or try to initiate foreplay 

If you notice that they start becoming tense or rigid when you touch them, there might be some kind of mental block in them. They don't respond positively when you initiate foreplay and might even start becoming overly conscious. "If your partner becomes hesitant about you seeing them naked, it could be a sign they're uncomfortable," therapist Kimberly Hershenson told Bustle.

3. They are physically with you but emotionally so far away

They might be right next to you, they might even be lying a few inches away from you as you talk to then, and yet, emotionally they don't seem connected to you. “If your partner is physically with you, but you have the feeling that he or she is mentally or emotionally 100 miles away or feels walled off and you can’t quite make contact, they may be energetically closed off to you,” said marriage and family therapist Lynsie Seely.

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4. They seem distant and want to rush through sex 

Your nighttime routine might have started changing and your partner might be falling asleep before you. "If your partner doesn't make an effort to get in bed with you, it could be a sign," said Hershenson. Sometimes it could be stress or other issues, because of which they are no longer in the mood, and sometimes it could be issues with your relationship.  "People give their time and energy to what they enjoy," said certified counselor Jonathan Bennett.

5. They don't particularly want to climax but are willing to focus on you

Being able to understand your needs and please you could show that they are a respectful partner. But refusing your advances might show how they are not enjoying sex anymore. "They may say things like, 'I don't need to climax' or 'I'm not in the mood right now but I'll take care of you," relationship therapist Julienne B. Derichs said. "You don't get a hard 'no' but sex is no longer something you both share, and this is often a strong indicator that your [partner] is not enjoying sex."

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6. They make it feel mechanical and no longer want to try anything new

If you notice that you have been having sex almost the exact same way, same foreplay, same routine, it can feel like it's become very mechanical. "A lot of couples struggle when their sex lives become too routine," said David Klow, author and owner of Skylight Counseling Center in Chicago, according to Women's Health. While trying new things or different positions, a partner who has lost interest might seem averse to those ideas or may seem unresponsive and closed off when you try them. 

7. They change the subject when you try to talk to them

It could be that one partner is experiencing low libido or the sexual chemistry is slightly thrown off. But it's a red flag when your partner refuses to talk about it. "If you can read the signs, you can bring up the topic yourself or start finding ways to better meet your partner’s needs, without an awkward conversation," said Bennett. They might need time to come to terms with it but letting things go on like this, in the long run, might not be the best.

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References:
https://www.bustle.com/p/11-subtle-signs-your-partner-isnt-enjoying-sex-even-if-they-arent-saying-anything-8098702
https://www.huffingtonpost.in/entry/signs-partner-losing-interest_n_5c3001a4e4b073352832da4c
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19932481/long-term-relationship-sex-drive/