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10 Signs You're An Adult Who's Carrying An Emotionally Wounded Inner Child Inside You

10 Signs You're An Adult Who's Carrying An Emotionally Wounded Inner Child Inside You

Your biggest enemy is the inner voice that's constantly criticizing you because as a child, you were made to believe that you weren't good enough.

Everyone thinks that their past is something they leave behind and walk away from. But even as an adult, you are still carrying bits and pieces of your childhood, and you never really get over the neglect that you faced when you were a child. And as you grow older, you still carry that little child inside you, along with all the emotional wounds that never healed. If you notice these signs, here's how you know your inner child is wounded.

1. You would do anything to make everyone around you happy

Pleasing the people around you and going the extra mile to make them happy is something you're quite used to by now. Agreeing to things you don't particularly enjoy, saying things you may not mean, wanting to make sure those around like you could be an effect of never getting the attention and approval you sought when you were a child. You rarely ever say "no" to people even if you end up doing things you hate. 

2. Your biggest enemy is the voice inside your head

The mean voices that you heard as a child still haunt you, telling you "you're not good enough" or "you're too sensitive". Talking negatively to yourself can disempower you, as pointed out by therapist, Andrea Brandt, in Psychology Today. You think you're inadequate and give yourself the harshest criticisms. You feel ashamed of your body, you always second-guess your actions, and you're convinced that you're wired wrong.

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3. You hold on to things that remind you of the past 

One of your biggest struggles is letting things go. You hold on to things and possessions that remind you of those few, genuine happy moments that you had. You are convinced that you might never get those moments back because those are the only things from your past that you find comfort in. More often than not, people who hold on to their past fail to realize how it's holding them back from growing as a person in the present.

4. You hold yourself back from fully trusting people

The very people that you thought you could trust are the same people who broke it. Now, you stop yourself from fully trusting people, according to Verywell Mind, and you sometimes don't even trust yourself. When you see that you're getting comfortable with someone, you might not trust your feelings and you don't give in to the spontaneity of the present moment.

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5. You rarely show your feelings, but sometimes they erupt forth

Because of the trust issues that still continue to weigh you down, you rarely ever express how you truly feel. The only person who knows your darkest secrets and fears is yourself. But sometimes, the feelings that you suppressed for so long can fume inside you, erupting like a burst of emotion you can't control.

6. You judge yourself too harshly and jump to the worst conclusions

When you're with others, you might notice that you're always on edge because you're overthinking everything you say and do, and may even be too self-critical of your actions and decisions. This can also lead to addictions that you feel guilty of. It's important to stop doubting your capabilities and seek help to put your broken self-esteem back together.

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7. You stick to your comfort zone and shy away from risks

Not getting love and encouragement from a parent in your childhood can make you grow up dominated with the fear of failing, according to Psych Central. The moment you think of doing something new or taking a risk, you feel a rush of anxiety. And this only pushes you further into your comfort zone. However, mustering the courage to take that step can be what helps you put the past behind and heal from the pain that's leading to all the self-doubt.

8. You are convinced that your opinions are not worth standing up for

As a child, you might have always felt that you didn't have anyone who would listen without judgment. The only people who did listen made you feel like your thoughts are worthless. But don't be afraid to stand up for yourself; you ARE worth it. Stand up for yourself and your mental health, and you will find a renewed version of yourself.

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9. You are either a perfectionist or a complete rebel

Sometimes you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder if you even have a real identity. You might think that you're a perfectionist who's been doing everything to please others and avoid conflict; or you might be someone who has found their streak of rebellion and you thrive on conflict. But the moment you are able to channel your thoughts and attitude into the right things, you will turn into the person that you're finally proud of.

10. You think something is wrong with you and fail to see that you're enough

You grew up thinking that you had to change yourself to be loved. You were only made to see your flaws and you never got the chance to see that you have wonderful strengths, too. And they are strengths that make you perfect the way you are, enough and whole. Don't give up on your inner-child; share your pain with someone you trust who can help you because it's time to give that inner-child and yourself the happiness you deserve.

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References:

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-the-effects-of-childhood-trauma-4147640
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201706/4-ways-childhood-trauma-impacts-adults
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/knotted/2017/03/unloved-in-childhood-10-common-effects-on-your-adult-self/