You might be single or in a relationship. You might be generally happy or feel like someone in your life is trying to control you. And all that can subconsciously take shape in your dreams.
It's not just you. Most people have sex dreams every now and then but rarely understand what they mean. It goes without saying that everyone at some point has had a dream or two you'd think twice before discussing with your partner or even your closest friends. Sometimes it might be a fantasy of yours that's come alive in your dreams, sometimes you might wake up feeling like you've just had a mind-blowing orgasm, and sometimes you might wake up startled and confused, wondering why you even saw what you saw.
There's also the fact that not all sex dreams need to be related to your current relationship dynamics or sexual life. Sometimes, it could even be related to certain emotions that your mind doesn't want to come to terms with when you're awake, so it manifests into a sexual dream when you're asleep. If you often see the following in your sex dreams, here's what it means.
When you dream about having sex with a stranger or an acquaintance that you barely know, it could be your mind's way of telling you that your physical needs are not being met, as explained by author, Robert Taibbi for Psychology Today.
Sometimes, you might be confused about why you saw someone from a coffee shop that you smiled at months ago or someone that you met at a retreat or just another acquaintance. It need not mean that you are attracted to them, or that you want to cheat on your partner. However, there might have been something about them that caught your attention then, like "What stands out the most or what you remember most about them," might be why they appeared in your dream, as expert dream psychologist Lauri Loewenberg told Cosmopolitan.
Sometimes, you might not be the one having sex in your dream. But dreaming of your partner or somebody you are romantically involved with cheating on you could show that you are feeling insecure about the bond you share with that person. It might also incidate that you need to have a talk with the person you dreamed of about where you two stand, as Loewenberg pointed out to Bustle.
Dreaming of yourself having sex but not seeing the person could indicate something about yourself or your current circumstances. The person's face might be unclear or hazy or the face of this "mystery lover" might not come in view. Loewenberg said, “This is really more about yourself. The mystery lover symbolizes some aspect of yourself that you’re trying to get to know and utilize in your own life.” The person without a face or an identity in your dream could be a sign for you to be more authoritative, possibly meaning that you feel like you lack a sense of identity and need to be more assertive in life.
Seeing your ex in a sexual dream need not mean that you are desperately hoping that you both get back together (unless you are consciously missing them and are having these dreams frequently). If it's a one-off dream, it could mean that you are experiencing issues with your current partner that need to be addressed. If you have recently broken up, you might just need to give yourself more time to fully recover from the relationship. But if you're having such a dream long after the breakup, there might be some unresolved grief from the relationship with your ex, according to Healthline.
Sometimes, the focus might not be on the sex within the dream, but on what happens after that. If you see yourself cuddling, having a romantic dinner, or having an intimate conversation in the dream, it could be that in real life, you are yearning to share such experiences in your current relationship. It might be more kindness or intimacy that you're looking for, or based on what you see in the dream, it could even be other things like adventure and spontanity.
Dreaming of an orgy could be a sign of too many things going on in your life, especially if you felt overwhelmed in your dream. It could indicate some kind of chaos, confusion, or an overload of emotions or events happening in your life. “An orgy is typically about too much going on at once,” Loewenberg said. “Do you have too much going on? Are you trying to accomplish too many things?” The message is that your attention is divided among too many things — look for ways to simplify some parts of your life, or look for things that you can maybe put on hold while other projects slow down.
Waking up feeling like you just had a thrilling orgasm in your dream could be a sign of how you're craving more sex or physical intimacy in real life. It could also symbolize that something in your life is coming or has come to an exciting or satisfying end.
Dreaming of having sex with someone "inappropriate" like your sibling, your best friend, a teacher, or anybody else that is positioned in your mind as someone you're not meant to be sexually attracted to, might not always mean that you are sexually attracted to them (unless you possibly are). It could even be your mind's way of making associations with what these people represent in your life. For instance, your a friend might represent trust or a math teacher might represent the finances in your life. Dr. Nancy Irwin said it's best to ask "What is the parallel of this image/object/person/event in my life at this moment?" This will help you see what associations your mind is making through the dreams and understand your subconscious emotions.
Dreaming about any kind of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism) could mean different things. “This dream may mean that you had an overbearing mother or father, and you are familiarly tantalized by the idea of being tied up and overcome by a love object (person),” explained Dr. Fran Walfish. If you have these dreams but don't actually have the desire to try it, then it could be hinting at the dynamics of the relationship you currently have. It need not be a romantic relationship, but one with friends or peers as well. It could be that you feel like you're being controlled or somebody else is controlling you in the relationship.