7 Reasons You Don't Tell People How You Really Feel

7 Reasons You Don't Tell People How You Really Feel

You may be tired of trying to fix things, completely giving up because you think nothing will get better.

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It can feel strange when sometimes, you struggle to tell even the people closest to you about your true emotions. Putting feelings of anger, sadness, or misery into words can be difficult. Even if the words are at the tip of your tongue, even if they are screaming in your mind and you want to let them out, you clench them back. And these could be the reasons why.

1. You want to be in control of your emotions but sometimes bottle them up

Over time, you may have been convinced that shedding a tear or saying that you're hurt is a sign of weakness. You fight with yourself to stay in control of your emotions, to stay emotionally rigid because of the perfectionist that you are. But being able to confront your fears in front of people is a real test of emotional strength, rather than ignore your true emotions and try to bury them away in the corners of your mind.

2. You have doubts about whether people will truly understand you

Sometimes, you may suppress your feelings because you're worried that people won't understand. You worry that when they fail to relate with what you're going through, they may reject or disapprove of what you're saying, simply because they don't get it. However, it's always possible to find someone who will truly understand you and never reject anything you have to say as silly or tell you that you're being too sensitive or unreasonable.


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3. You don't trust others seeing your vulnerable side

To reveal your innermost doubts and fears can be terrifying. Putting yourself out there can feel like you're exposing yourself, making your soul bare and giving someone a peek inside. And you feel like people may take advantage of you or maybe even leave you when you're vulnerable. As difficult as it may be, taking the chance to get in touch with your feelings with someone you truly trust can help your emotional wellbeing.

4. You're always trying to be what others expect you to be

Others may always think of you as the person who's always composed and can keep it together. But because of someone in your past who hurt you and broke your self-esteem, you stop yourself from saying what's on your mind. You sometimes feel like you're not entitled to expressing your feelings, just to meet the expectations that others have from you. You put your emotions aside and smile just to keep your loved ones pleased.


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5. You want to avoid arguments and conflicts with people around you

No matter how bad the situation is, you do everything to avoid getting into a fight, especially with someone close to you. You think that saying too much or revealing your true feelings may get yourself trapped in needless arguments. However, in some cases, having healthy discussions can strengthen your emotional bond with someone. When your needs are equally met with that of the other person, it can form a cemented relationship. 

6. You are convinced that, no matter what you do, things won't get better

After trying to hard to make things better, you may feel hopeless and completely given up on trying anymore. It's possible that you think your partner or friend or family member is too stubborn or oblivious to the way you feel. But it's important to make sure you have relationships where you can freely open-up without having the fear of being judged or looked down upon them.

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7. You take on the burden of others even if it hurts you

You tend to put the feelings of others before your own. And because of this, you willingly carry the weight of others while putting yours aside. You're first to show up and rescue others from the troubles they are in but you never reach out for help when you're the one who needs it. Even when you're hurt, you show up for the people who are important to you. But sometimes, you need a break, too. You need a moment where you can breakdown, let your feelings out, and cry on someone's shoulder who will genuinely listen. Confronting your feelings and coping with them can mend your relationship with yourself and others.

Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.