What started as a viral Reddit conversation is now a product "trusted by butts everywhere".
Editor's note: This article was originally published on September 29, 2021. It has since been updated.
What on earth is a poop knife? A knife for poop? Well, basically, that's exactly what it is. If you poop "big" turds, this handy knife can be used to cut it up. It's that simple but(t) let's be honest, it's a bit strange no? It all started when a Reddit user named LearnedButt made a confession on the platform that said: My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.
And that's not all. Some families SHARE a poop knife. The user added that the poop knife was in the laundry room and not the bathroom because "we only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife."
The comments that followed in the original post are just as what you'd expect: hilarious. Many people chimed in to share their own poop stories. It looks like what happens in the bathroom isn't staying in the bathroom anymore. One user joked: old rusty kitchen knife. Let's be honest here. That ain't rust. What's surprising was to note how common it was for many other people and their families to drop giant amounts of poo that needed to be broken down. Another big pooper wrote: My family uses a spatula, affectionately referred to as “The Shatula”. Obviously, it stays in the upstairs bathroom, which is the proper place to go for such an event, and we don’t use it in the kitchen.
You can now buy an original Poop Kife inspired by this Reddit conversation here for about $20. Some of its features include: Ridiculous gag gift for friends and family, or daily necessity? You decide. Metal-reinforced silicone is strong, hygienic, easy to clean, and dishwasher-safe (if you dare). This will cut poop! Tested on the most ferocious of bog crocodiles without a fight. Curious about what an Original Poop Knife feels like? Imagine a heavy silicone-covered butter knife. Long enough to keep your hand clear of danger in a standard-depth toilet.
Looks like the poop knife isn't just a mysterious legendary tale. It's pretty darn real. And no matter what your thoughts are on the matter, as long as it doesn't end up in a kitchen, we'll be alright... Right?