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Mom of 2 Devastated To Find Husband Is Crushed Over His Cousin's Death Because He Had An 11 Year Affair With Her

Mom of 2 Devastated To Find Husband Is Crushed Over His Cousin's Death Because He Had An 11 Year Affair With Her

The man was depressed when his cousin died but the woman did not imagine the reason would be an affair.

Knowing that your partner has an affair is heartbreaking. Given our culture, it seems even worse when the person he was seeing is a family member. One woman was astonished when her husband of 15 years confessed he was having an affair.

According to the Reddit post, the woman stated that her husband's cousin was killed in a car accident. The incident had a profound impact on her partner and she noticed he was depressed. "My husband’s cousin recently was killed in a car accident three weeks ago. This has made my husband visibly depressed and a lot less like himself lately," said the woman, according to Reddit.

The woman further went on to say that her husband sat her down to say something very important. But she did not realize, it would be something so difficult for her.

Representational Image | Source: Photo by Igor Ustynskyy

"Tonight when I got home from work he had our two kids go spend the night at his mother’s place and had made us dinner. After dinner he sat me down and told me that I needed to prepare myself for what he was going to say," stated the woman.

The man then opened up about his affair. He said he had physical relationships with his cousin, who had passed away. "He then proceeded to tell me about his affair. To sum some things up he essentially had been doing sexual things with his cousin since she “seduced” him when she 13 and he was 16. This(sic) sexual activities went on through their adulthood up until he started to date me," said the woman.

Representational Image | Source: Getty Images | Photo by Kittiphan Teerawattanakul / EyeEm

After the man started dating the woman, he refrained from continuing the relationship with his cousin. But after four years, the cousin convinced the man to restart their relationship though he was married.

"After we got married things didn’t happen between him or his cousin until around 4 years into our marriage when she supposedly convinced him to continue their sexual activities on the side. We’ve been married for a little over 15 years for context. This has continued up until 3 weeks ago as you can imagine," said the woman, according to Reddit. 

He even admitted that his relationship with his cousin was beyond physical intimacy. "He told me to take it as I will and he’ll accept anything I choose to do considering our marriage. His cousin apparently was a lot more than just some sex fling."

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Her husband's confession left her heartbroken. She never thought her husband was capable of cheating on her. "I’ve never would have expected my husband to be cheating. He never did anything that would give it red flags like coming in late or leaving hair of another woman around. I’m at a standstill and not sure where to go from here. I haven’t been able to say anything to him after he was so blunt about it. I’m still crying some now, I don’t know where to go from where," wrote the helpless woman. 

Reddit users sided with the woman and many asked her to leave him. "Your husband is a major asshole. Not only for cheating but also for not keeping his mouth shut after the affair would never have been found out. His 'coming clean' is not about you but about him. It's not about saving or repairing your marriage because your marriage would never have been in trouble without his 'confession'. This is your selfish husband wanting to get consolation for losing his 'second wife',' wrote one. They also referred to him as "selfish."

Representational Image | Source: Getty Images (Photo by Noel Hendrickson)

"It would be different if he had come clean because he wanted the affair to stop and wanted to seek help/ treatment for it. Instead, it was stopped for him and now he wants a crying shoulder about it. He can’t seek pity for his grief if she doesn’t know about it. That’s why telling her in this particular line up of events is still shitty and selfish," wrote another. 

References:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/icia89/my_40f_husband_39m_admitted_to_me_that_he_has/