This mom can't get herself to hug her son or get cuddly with him, despite being told that it makes him feel really sad and upset.
There are people who hate being touched in general, and that can affect their life in some way or another. Recently, a mom took to Reddit's AITA community to share how she hates being touched and how it has stopped her from showering her 10-year-old son with hugs and cuddles. She shared that she can't get herself to hug him or get cuddly with him, despite being told that it makes him feel really sad and upset. She wrote: I know this sounds bad, but hear me out. Ever since I (F37) was 5 I have generally hated physical contact with most other people. I refused to hug or kiss my parents, didn't hold hands with family /friends, etc, hate maintaining eye contact and the like. I think my parents were bothered about it as I grew up but just accepted it and it really wasn't an issue.
She went on to say how she evades hugs and kisses (she detests kisses on the cheeks) when she goes out with her friends. I know this is weird but it makes me physically uncomfortable, but I only have a small circle of close friends who have known me forever, and it's not been an issue. She says how this has affected her relationship with her son. I had a son when I was 27 and obviously love him thoroughly and as a baby, he had plenty of cuddles etc. But since he was a toddler I haven't really had much physical contact with him. I find it uncomfortable (don't know how else to put it.. I have a revulsion?). For the most part, I didn't think he was bothered, he has plenty of attention, I'm just not cuddly with him. (we have private handshakes /fist bumps etc)
However, despite her thinking it's okay, it wasn't and the lack of physical contact was bothering her son. But the other week, he told me it bothered him that all the rest of our family /his stepdad cuddles him but that I don't. I tried to explain it, but I'm not sure as 10 Yr old he could understand. I feel rotten about it but it's not just him, it's evidently how I'm wired. But here's where I may be TA, with my partner I am always snuggled up, we are very close physically (and I always have been with sexual partners) but to me, physical contact is only for one person, the one I am with, anyone other than that ant it feels wrong/awkward/horrible to me.
Basically, she's fine with being cuddly with her partner, but just not her son. I'm wondering whether I shouldn't show so much physical affection in front of my son. My mum thinks I am TA for this, I should either hug my son as much as my partner or keep physical contact with my partner strictly private. And that I should just "get over it" and put up with feeling uncomfortable hugging my son because my feelings do count when it comes to that kind of situation. Edit: I do not starve my son of physical contact. He often lies with his legs over me, I tickle him, we have secret handshakes, I hug him. I also explain my feelings to him and we discuss his feelings. I just don't feel comfortable cuddled up face to face with him.