The MIL refuses to acknowledge the risk of exposure during her weekly visits.
When it comes to mothers-in-law and their relationship with their daughters-in-law, things can be smooth and easy, or quite complicated. It depends on their personality and level of maturity. Of course, the role of the men in the house plays a major role, too. Given the current health situation, open communication and healthy boundaries are important for families to remain functional and happy.
A Redditor recently posted the story about her experience in the lockdown and it left many wondering about family members with toxic or narcissistic traits. Her mother-in-law refused to understand her family's need to be isolated and insisted on visiting them regularly. This could be difficult as is, but she explained how this is detrimental to her family's health and safety because her children are immuno-compromised. It is a known fact that those with lower immunity are more at risk in the current pandemic.
The Redditor, kshaf889, wrote a post in which she said: "My children are immune-compromised and this lady (shes a rn for godsake) is trying to come over every weekend (am i a total jerk for practically BEGGING my husband to please tell her no?)"
What was harder to process was the fact that the mother-in-law is a registered nurse herself and understands the dangers faced by kids that are immune-compromised. Her failure to acknowledge the health risk has left the young mother frustrated and anxious about her kids' safety. The daughter-in-law also showed signs of guilt as she found herself begging her husband to explain the risk factors to his mom.
We can't help wonder if the grandmom is now working with patients that increases the risk of exposure. Even otherwise, her words suggest how lightly she takes the entire situation. The anxious mom further added: "She thinks oh its fine cuz no one she knows has it but I don't think it's ok. There's a reason we're all supposed to be avoiding each other! Plus she wants to bring another grandchild of hers Please tell me I'm not crazy."
The story reveals that the lack of sensitivity comes from her ignorance of facts highlighted by medical experts. Her explanation that no one she knows has shown any symptoms of it so she poses no risk to the vulnerable kids proves nothing. Numerous people who have not shown symptoms were tested positive, a group called asymptomatic carriers of the virus. In case she is one of them, who insists on meeting her grandkids every week, wouldn't that endanger the kid's life immediately?
Other Redditors responded to the troubled mother and the reactions seemed more or less unanimous. One of the handles, TacoInWaiting, wrote a response to the mother-in-law, saying: "Hey, MIL, why are you trying to kill my kids? This isn't a matter of, "Oh, no one will know; I/you won't get into trouble! Covid, much like honey badger, don't care. I would prefer my children alive, thanks, and if you don't, and your actions are indicating that you don't, you can go to hell."
Many others agreed with this point of view; another handle, claroo, wrote: "you are not crazy; this woman is a disgrace to her profession—she should know better. DO NOT let her inside or anywhere near your child or you—and tell your husband that if he lets her in then he needs to pack a bag because he can't stay with you anymore."
And McDuchess, another handle, straight up said: "Stop begging your husband, and telling him that under no circumstances can your kids be exposed to someone who is around the general public. He may be in the FOG. But it’s his immunocompromised children he’s putting at risk. When it comes to the safety of your children, feel free to be a capital B bitch for their sake."
Well, what do you think she should do? Is the mother-in-law right in insisting to continue her visits?