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The Anguish of Losing a Parent Never Gets Better So Don't Tell Me It Does

The Anguish of Losing a Parent Never Gets Better So Don't Tell Me It Does

Only my parents know me for who I truly am, and having to lose either to an unforeseen circumstance is worse than heartbreak.

Everyone has to deal with the pain of losing someone close to them at some point in their life. The wound is too deep to mend instantly, and when it heals, it leaves behind a lasting scar in memory.

Life is too short to think that we have all the time in the world to love and cherish someone. Our parents are the ones that stick with us through thick and thin despite the struggles and arguments we might have shared. Loving them like there's no tomorrow allows us to appreciate and let them know that we will never stop caring.

Losing a parent is hard and grief doesn't instantly disappear. It does take time, but you'll be content knowing that you've given your love to them until the day they've died.

1. No one is prepared to lose a loved one

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iStock

I didn't know that the time I spent with my parents was going to be short-lived. We lived a happy life regardless of the countless arguments and fight we would have shared. Only my parents know me for who I truly am, and having to lose either to an unforeseen circumstance is worse than heartbreak. No one ever expects to lose someone close to them. After all, time is just an illusion when you're with someone you love. It feels like a sudden unexpected storm that appears on a clear blue sky.

2. I didn't have enough time to cherish them

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iStock

When I'm with them, it's like I had all the time in the world to spend countless hours talking and spending time with them. Don't forget to spend time with your parents as much as you can as you'll never get back the time you could have spent with them. Every day is precious and I wish I used that to spend every minute of every hour with them. 

3. I didn't tell how much I loved them

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iStock

I know I love them. Both my parents mean the world to me but how often have I told them that? Even if I've told them, it's never enough after everything they've done for me. Regardless of whether I'm close to them or not, the love I have for them cannot be explained in mere words. I wish I could tell them how much they meant to me. Sometimes we assume that our parents know that we love them but reaffirming that love speaks more than a thousand words, and by simply just saying 'I love you'.

4. I can't describe how I feel

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iStock

I feel like a stranger in a foreign land where I don't know what to do or how to act. My feelings are exactly the same where I can't give meaning to the emotions I feel. Losing a parent leaves a huge void in your life, not knowing how to fill or mend it. My feelings are all over the place and I just need someone to help me make sense of it. But there would be times when I feel like silence and solitude are my best friends to help me heal.

5. Let me grieve... it is not the pain that disappears in an instant

I know you're trying to be there for me. I know you're all trying your best to make me feel like everything will be okay but the grief of losing a parent is something that takes more than just support of those who care about us. The harsh reality of having to come to terms with all the things left unsaid is something only someone who has lost a parent can understand. And there will be times when the grief of it feels like riding a roller coaster that never stops, and without a seatbelt.

I'm going to cry and I'm going to feel like my life's stopped for a while but give me time to pick the pieces up. Your words of encouragement won't bring my parents back even though you mean well. I can only sort out my life once I've come to terms with losing them.

6. It's not something I can easily get over

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iStock

You tell me that it's going to hurt for a bit until the pain fades away with time. Losing a parent is like losing a part of yourself or like losing someone who's known you all your life. No one truly gets over losing the one presence that has been in their life since they took their first breath. Every moment of every day feels like fighting a battle that cannot be won. My parents are my rock. Losing one of them is like losing a part of me that I'll never get back.  

7. Don't tell me it's a normal cycle of life

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Pexels

I know that it's the way of life where life is born just as easily as it's taken away but don't remind me that it's normal when I'm grieving. It does not feel normal to lose the one constant presence in an instant without a warning. I feel like my nightmares have become reality when I think about the time I lost my parent. It's hard to mend a heart that's been broken as the scars still remain from the battles it has lost.

8. I truly understand your loss as I went through it myself

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iStock

I know what you feel not because I'm trying to be your friend but because I've lost a parent myself. I know that you're drowning in your own grief and you need to come out of it. Let me help you and be there for you as I understand you more than anyone else. Talk to me and vent out your soul and I promise that I'll be there for you. I understand because I wanted someone to just be there for me.