As parents, we are often stressed and frustrated balancing work and family life. As a result, we are often impatient with our children when they are being difficult and may end up calling them names.
Being a parent is emotionally rewarding, but not without its fair share of challenges. Your kids may be the apple of your eye, but their naughtiness and mischief can drive you crazy. It is impossible for a day to go by without at least one of you yelling or screaming. In situations like these, parents often throw out words that may be hurtful to a child. However, most of us do not realize how these random words may affect our little child.
According to Motherhood InStyle Magazine, a little kid wrote a letter to his parents asking them not to call him "stupid." In the heartbreaking letter written by a little kid, the child pleads to his parents and asks them not to brand him stupid even if he does things that may be categorized as stupid.
The letter written by this kid is a great example of how our children may feel bad when we blurt out words without thinking about the aftereffects it could have on them. It is surely a wake-up call to parents who define their kids based on their actions.
The child starts the letter by expressing his dislike and hate in hearing his parents calling him bad words. "I don’t like that if I do a mistake, you call me bad words like Stupid. Please don’t call me bad words even though I deserve it. I don’t like it at all." The child goes on to say how much he loves his parents even though they can be a bit too harsh at times. "I love you and all but sometimes you just a bit rough," writes the child.
Though as parents we intend to disciple our kids than to hurt them, the letter written by this kid is an eye opener to how our thoughtless words can make an impression in their heart. The letter ends with an apology for hurting his parents. "I am sorry that you are feeling down because of me and I will try my best to make you happy."
The letter shows how the innocent kid had already realized his small mistakes and had already taken the blame upon himself. His innocent heart had already taken responsibility for his parents' unhappiness.
Labeling our kids with certain adjectives can be damaging to their personality. When they see that a rational adult, their father or mother who claims to love them the most keeps referring to them as "stupid," they might start believing that they are intellectually weaker than others.
"Kids internalize these negative labels and begin to see themselves as 'not good enough'," said Melanie Greenberg, a clinical psychologist to Psychology Today. The psychologist also says that no matter what situation you are in, unknowingly injecting such messages to your kids may be harmful.
Though it is obvious for stressed-out parents to get frustrated at their misbehaving kids, it is important to be careful with the words you throw at kids. Greenberg says that rather than using bad language, the best thing to do is to calm yourself down and then have a meaningful conversation. "It is important to take some time to connect with your own feelings and calm down using deep breathing or self-talk before letting these emotions leak and derail your communication with your kid," Greenberg advised.