Spending more time with grandparents allows kids to develop a better bond.
The memories of most great childhoods are never complete without the flashbacks of grandma's baked chocolate cookies and grandfather's thrilling tales. And therefore, the bond every child has with their grandparents are special.
It is so unique that even parents cannot figure out why their children prefer their grandparents over them. However, we have experts to decode this mystery for you and various studies have been conducted in understanding this beautiful relationship between grandparents and grandkids. Here are some of the reasons:
With both the father and the mother of the household struggling to make a better living for the family, children are often left under the care of their grandparents. Most parents believe it is better to leave them with their grandparents than a caretaker or in a private care facility. As kids begin to see more of their grandparents instead of their parents, they develop a deep attachment to them.
“Children tend to bond with those they spend the most time with,” said Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed clinical psychologist in Denver, according to Romper. Children then relay on their grandparents for support and inadvertently form an emotional and mental bond with them. This in turn helps the grandparents understand the needs and even the moods of the kids easily compared to their parents.
According to Verywell Family, ".. it is the regular presence of grandparents that results in closeness rather than the functions that they perform."
Looking after a kid is not new to most grandparents. Having gone through that cycle already, they have the ability to decode the mood swings and social signals projected by a child.
They are fast to understand what is bothering a child and will immediately cater to their needs due to their experience. Dr. Fisher claims that it helps in developing a "secure and strong" bond between kids and their grandparents.
When the child sees the response from their grandparents, they will feel a sense of attachment. They will feel as if they have found a friend at home.
While parents love their kids and provide them with whatever they need, a lot of kids look forward to spending their holidays with their grandparents. This should not be surprising because many of us know of the unconditional love grandparents give their grandkids.
Apart from love, they also prepare their grandchildren's favorite delicacies, share the stories of their adventures with them, take them out for fishing, and a lot more. They also spoil them with little gifts that mean a lot to them.
“Grandparents often give their grandchildren little gifts; they do not need to cost much, but [the gifts] say [to the] children [they] are valuable, wanted and important,” said Brian Taylor, a relationship coach and author of The Marriage You Never Dreamed of - Practical Steps to Extraordinary, Lasting Love, according to Positive Outlook.
Moreover, they make sure these kids have more breathing space and are quite lenient when it comes to rules. Unlike parents, who would not budge, grandparents are more patient when it comes to bending the set rules.
"Everyone likes to be valued and treated as important. Parents also value their children, of course, but the task of parenting includes instructions, regulations, teaching them how to do things, structure (it’s bedtime), and discipline," said Taylor.
He added, "When grandparents teach and train, they tend to do it more gently and show an example. They are typically more patient as they do not have the pressures of time, including having to get to work."
However, parents should remember that it does not mean that kids do not love them. Though the busy schedules may be keeping them away from spending a lot of time with the kids, let them know that you care and that you too are interested in knowing the details of their life.