When they want to see you happy, they would never make you choose between them and the things that are dear to you.
What makes a relationship stand the test of time, where even years down the line your love for them hasn't wavered, is when you know your partner appreciates you for who you are without wanting to change a thing. They see you as a person they want to share their life with and not someone who they can bend and twist to fit into their idea of perfection. If your partner truly loved you, here are 7 things they would never expect of you.
It's impossible for you to interpret your partner's every expression and every sigh in the exact way that they want you to. When you're in a healthy relationship, you and your partner wouldn't rely on passive-aggressive means to tell each other what's on your mind. You should be able to trust your partner to be comfortable to share what they feel instead of playing mind games with you and expecting you to play along.
Your partner should never give you ultimatums that force you to give up on people who are important to you. "You should never have to choose between a partner and family," said therapist, Kimberly Hershenson. "If there's conflict between your partner and family and it doesn't seem to be resolving, you should never have to choose sides." There could still be ways to find common ground without having to go to the extent of giving up on one relationship.
A true partner would never fight to always have their way. "You don’t have to spend all your holidays with your partner’s family, or stop eating foods you love, or stop seeing friends [they don't] like," couples psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina, told Bustle. "Strive for partnership and balance." And balance would include them appreciating all that you give for the relationship and doing the same for you in return without expecting you to give in to their every whim and fancy.
It's okay for your partner to suggest something different that you both could try, but if you're not ready for it, they should never force you into it or shame you for refusing to give in. "Your partner can certainly bring up trying something scary, but they should never ask you to face fears you are not ready to confront," said Janet Zinn, licensed social worker, psychotherapist, and couples counselor.
“There is one major cause of relationship problems: self-abandonment," said Margaret Paul, Ph.D., relationship expert and co-creator of Inner Bonding, according to Redbook. Your partner would never expect you to abandon or change your personality traits, your quirky habits, or the very things that make you who you are. Just like you accept their best and worst, they would do the same for you.
When your partner genuinely cares for you, they pay attention to your needs and consider them equally important as their own. They would never disregard your feelings or coerce you into agreeing with them all the time. They work right beside you to strike a balance between what they want and what you want. You never hesitate to speak up for what you want because you know your partner would be ready to make compromises with you.
In a healthy relationship, your partner would never project their fears onto you. They respect the line between leaning on you for support and clinging on to you by overstepping boundaries. "It's also completely inappropriate for a partner to expect you to constantly baby them, agree with them, or cater to their every need," said psychologist Traci Stein. When your partner truly respects you, they know that it's not your life's duty to make them the center of your universe.
Disclaimer: This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.