Sparks flew between us but you were quick to dismiss me. You treated my love as you would a piece of paper and I couldn't take that.
Being with you has given me some of the best moments of my life. But you are also the reason behind so many of my tears and heartbreak. I thought I could get through it but you just made it so hard. Despite all the special times we had, our fights have shattered me. So no matter how much it hurts me to do this, I have to leave. You can call me cold or curse me out, but I didn't leave because I don't care.
Every time I offered my opinion, I hoped you would listen to me. Every time I achieved something, I hoped you would share in my joy. But you never did that. You made me doubt myself and feel like I was worth nothing. Yet whenever I told you that, you called it silly.
My love for you was so intense but you never acknowledged it. Every time I cried over something you said, you told me I was being too sensitive. Whenever I wanted to be a part of something that you loved, you pushed me away because you thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. I would've dropped everything to be with you but you never really wanted me.
I wanted to tell you so many things and I wanted you to open up to me. But you thought I was being too clingy and kept me at a distance. I wanted to be the shoulder for you to lean on, but you chose others over me. You shut me out and it slowly killed me.
At some point during our relationship, I realized that I needed some time to sort out my own issues so that I didn't take them out on you. But you wouldn't even allow me that space. Every time I told you I wanted to be on my own, you made me think that I was being selfish for not wanting to spend time with you. I guess you didn't really know me if you thought I would choose me over you.
I know we had problems. Our fights definitely were explosives. But I never wanted them to rot our relationship. I wanted us to work through it because I know that we would have made it out stronger at the end of it. But every time I brought up a fight, you complained that I was bringing up the past. Yet all our fights were because we never resolved the other fights. I just couldn't do that anymore.
I told you all my fears and weaknesses. I shared those thoughts with you because I trusted you so much to be able to bare myself so completely. I just didn't expect that would make you think that I was weak.
I knew that the future was uncertain but I also knew that it was full of possibilities - ones that I dreamed would be with you. I knew that you were the type to live in the moment but you mocked my dreams for us. You belittled the beautiful future we could have had.
I prayed with everything in me that we could get past all the problems we were having. Yet for every drop of effort I put into making this work, you took two steps back. You refused to see past the dark and live for the light at the end of our tunnel. The constant push-and-pull was wearing me down and I finally figured out that you were never going to change.
We could have had it all but you didn't want it. So I did the only thing I could do that would keep my soul from dying - I left.