You sometimes miss the signs of you and your partner disconnecting, until one day your relationship is too broken to be fixed.
It may feel like you have been spending enough time with your partner and things seem to be going the way they normally do. But you have noticed the awkward silences over dinner and how your partner no longer takes your hand when you walk down the sidewalk.
When you don't pay attention, it's easy to miss the early signs of you and your partner drifting apart. And it hits you hard when you're in too deep, too tangled together in the loose strings of your relationship. Before everything falls apart and you're stuck in the broken cracks, here's how you can tell that you and your partner are no longer connected like you once were.
Dragging yourself through the day in your partner's company, making small talk and forcing a smile can show how you both see it as an obligation to spend time with each other. "Once the laughter dies away it can be an important sign that the two of you are no longer on the same page," said James Anderson, a dating expert and coach, according to StyleCaster.
If once you couldn't wait for the end of the day to be beside your partner, now you seem to enjoy those moments when your partner is working late or spending time with their friends. "When you’re together, you’re more depressed, bored, and have more bad times than good," said clinical sexologist and certified sex coach, Dr. Stacy Friedman.
Seeing that your partner snaps back at you or has nothing more than a sarcastic retort to offer you when you say something, it could show that they are suppressing certain feelings of frustration and not telling you about it. "If they apologize and change their behavior, it's probably a phase," life coach and relationship expert Nina Rubin, told Bustle.
To be able to talk about anything, from a horrible day to your future together and everything in between, is extremely important in a relationship. But if your partner avoids questions or dismisses your concerns, especially about the relationship, it could be a red flag. "It can also indicate pulling away," said Nina Rubin, tells Bustle.
You might say those three words before they leave the house or before you turn around and drift off to sleep at night. But it seems more like words you're forced to say without actually meaning it. "People typically do such endearing things like [...] saying 'I love you' when they are emotionally invested," said author and therapist, Connie Omari to Bustle. "But as interest in the partner declines, so do these affectionate endeavors."
You can tell that your relationship is moving closer to a dangerous zone when you keep having the same fights without ever finding the right solution to make both of you happy. "You both feel like you're the loser and that you often have to defend your position," wrote licensed clinical social worker, college instructor, and author, Terry Gaspard for HuffPost.
It's important to keep growing in the relationship, but when you can't see a future with your partner, it could be a sign that you and your partner are growing in completely different directions. "You may just be going through a phase where you’re focusing more on yourself, but you also may be at a point where you’re starting to consider your options outside of your current partner subconsciously," said psychotherapist and relationship author, Dr. Jill Murray.
Disclaimer: This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.