The woman's mother and mother-in-law expect her to take better care of her husband.
Imagine working 12 hours a day, commuting for two, having a horrible boss, having to cook meals all while being pregnant for the first time only to be criticized by your family? Why? Because you're supposed to "take care" of your husband who is a full-grown man who works from home. The man apparently complained about his wife not doing enough around the house to both of their moms. Even one of the woman’s friends thought that she was in the wrong and blamed "online feminists" for making her forget her "wife duties."
The pregnant working mom from Illinois took to the AITA section of Reddit, asking if she was at fault for telling her MIL and mom that she's "not here to babysit my husband." She elaborated: my MIL and my mom call me a bad wife for not caring for my husband properly. They claim its my job to do the cooking and cleaning. My mom justifies my MIL intervening in our household matters. She says I'm not a proper housewife. My husband complained to my mom today that I'm too lazy. That I haven't cooked a proper meal in a week and I only cook easy quick meals. I'm working a 12 hour job while pregnant and he's working from home. My job is also a 2hour drive from the house. I'm away 14 hours a day overworking myself while he does nothing to help around the house and the few times he does help he rubs it on my face while calling me lazy and complaining to my mom and his mom. Her MIL even went on to say "how her son has lost weight since he married me and how I'm not feeding him and she'd never let him marry me if she knew how shitty I am as a wife." Her own friend told her that she was at fault "because that's what I signed up for when I married my husband and I should take responsibility when I'm not doing my wife duties the right way. She said I let online feminists get in my mind and I forgot what a proper wife is like and I'm being an ass by trying to rebel against my husband while also offending my MIL and mom."
Most Redditors voted that the woman was not the asshole in the situation. Many agreed that the kind of pressure everyone was putting on her was cruel and unrealistic. Women today are expected to do EVERYTHING, and that's unfair. One user commented: NTA, if he wants it like that, then he needs to make enough that you can stay home and do all that, and even then, only if you agree to it. Had a similar conversation with my husband’s gramma. She got upset when I said I don’t like to cook all the time, asked who was gonna make dinner. Uh, he can also cook??? We both work full time so I dunno where she got off telling me I needed to be a housewife.
Another added with concern: As a man myself I’m horrified… this will only get worse once the baby comes…you will be expected as the mother to do 100 percent of the work…I’d have a real sit down with husband maybe couples counselling. One Redditor offered their views, stating: NTA- it’s not the 1950’s and if he’s really ‘starving’ he’s perfectly capable of getting up off his lazy ass and cooking! His behaviour and laziness is quite disgraceful really and I’m sorry that you’re married to somebody and have a family with such misogynistic views.