Before you find the one you're meant to spend the rest of your life with, you find two other types of love that you needed in your life.
Exhilarating, nerve-wracking, passionate, heartbreaking, unforgettable, beautiful, and sometimes tragic; love is all of this and more. But before you find the one meant for you, you are put through other relationships that showed you how love can be all that you crave for but at the same time, it can be the one thing that tears your heart apart. There are two types of love you go through before finding the one you're meant to be with for the rest of your life, and here's what you learn from them.
The feeling of falling in love for the first time is electrifying. It's almost intoxicating, you feel the rush running through your body, almost making you breathless. Your first love showed you the thrill of being in a relationship and sometimes when you look back at it, you might even be slightly embarrassed by how you thought it would last forever.
The first love shows you how comforting it is to have a loving partner in your life; you pined over your partner until your youth caught up with you. You eventually realized that passion isn't enough for a lasting relationship and although you were shattered when the relationship came to an end, you understood with time that it wasn't meant to be.
"Nobody ever forgets their first love, but I like to say this about any loves or flings that you want to return to: you broke up for a reason," Dr. Brian Jory, PhD, author of Cupid on Trial and director of the family studies program at Berry College, told Pop Sugar. "Maybe you've forgotten the reason, but more often than not, that reason is still there."
Not only did you learn so much about relationships from your second love, but you also learned so much about yourself this time. While your first love may have shown you the brighter side of love, the second time shows you that it can have a dark side, too. As you grew more mature, you let yourself be exposed and you showed your vulnerabilities to your partner.
It didn't matter that the relationship failed. What's important is that you learned that it was important to love yourself first before loving someone else. "When we’re in a relationship, we become so vulnerable emotionally that we realize what makes us feel whole, what completes us emotionally and what fulfills our self-esteem and self-confidence from the inside out," Mo Seetubtim, founder & CEO of The Happiness Planner wrote for HuffPost.
You may have experienced the pain of being lied to and being manipulated in this relationship. And it taught you never to be coaxed into doing things you don't want to in the name of love. Even though your second love left you heartbroken, you came out of it stronger and more sure of what you deserve.
Suddenly, everything seems so easy when you fall in love for the third time. When it's meant to be, it barely feels like a strain as you fall in love, having learned from the past what your needs and desires are. This time, you can see that compromise comes from both sides, where your partner gives as much as you, and finds joy in your happiness, as you do for them.
"Couples who each truly place the needs and wants of their partners on par with or above their own seem to handle a lifetime of compromising, juggling priorities, and collaborating better than couples who individually pursue their own best interests," Laura VanderDrift, associate professor of psychology at Syracuse University’s College of Arts and Sciences and director of the Close Relationships Lab at Syracuse University, according to Independent.
You don't have to be anyone but yourself because you have found someone who loves you just the way you are. The passion you both have keeps the spark alive and the emotional support you give each other keeps you both glued together. It's this love that lasts because even though you both are not "perfect" individuals, you both are perfect for each other.
Disclaimer: This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.