Long term relationships are more than just seeing each other face life's toughest challenges. It is also about how you treat each other in moments like these that define your relationship. And the way you speak to each other is one such indication.
Sometimes, you don't need relationship tests or an expert to tell you whether or not your relationship is going well. By just paying attention to the kind of things you and your partner say to each other almost every day, you can tell how connected you both are. Here's what strong couples often say to each other.
They can't bear to see you exhausted or tired, and never hesitate to step in so that you can have a break. And you would do the same for your partner. You both are able to tell each other to relax, take it slow, or just forget about this thing that's bugging you; you breathe a sigh of relief because you know they will handle it. Neither of you would let the other carry the entire load of the relationship, but would equally share it.
This may sound like an obvious one. But saying this to each other without any hesitation and meaning the words each time helps you both maintain the bond you both have. “It is important to express how you feel and say ‘I love you,’ even if your behaviors indicate that you love the other person,” Marisa T. Cohen, Associate Professor of Psychology and author told Bustle. “Verbalizing it is also important.”
Knowing that you both are a team shows how you both respect each other. “'Being a team’ doesn’t mean ‘inseparable’ or ‘dependent,’” said Lesli Doares, a licensed marriage and family therapist, according to Her Campus. “It means two people working together for common goals. Strong couples make use of each other’s strengths to make their relationship better. They don’t compete with each other as much as they compete for each other.”
When you have a bad day or when you feel overwhelmed by something that's happened in your life, your partner would do anything to make you feel better. It shows how concerned you are of each other in the relationship and you're willing to understand what they are going through and do the very thing that they need to turn things around. Moreover, when you feel down and blue, just being asked this question makes your heart feel lighter than before.
You feel a lore more brave about taking risks and living life fuller when you know your partner will be there for you when they say this. “This means that you are putting your partner’s needs first, and that no matter what they tell you or what they need, you will step up and be present and supportive,” psychologist Samantha Rodman told HuffPost. “When partners are unsure of each other’s willingness to be there for them, relationships can quickly erode.”
Reminiscing old, cherished memories from the relationship reminds you how much you love your partner. “Recalling positive memories has so many benefits, including increasing positivity into the relationship and about your partner, increasing feelings of attachment, and creating opportunities for inside jokes,” said, Anita A. Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist, according to Elite Daily.
It's perfectly normal to have disagreements with your partner and feel hurt by them. But letting your partner know this way can get your point across without attacking them. Saying "i feel hurt..." or "it hurts me when this happens", it shows that you don't want to blame each other, but want to have a healthy discussion about how one's actions can affect the other. You both would never want to attack your partner, but want to attack the issue between you both.
While you both absolutely love each other's company, you also know that you need your own space every once in a while. Whether it's to just have the house all to yourself to unwind or heading out with your friends for a drink, you both want each other to have a great time doing the things they love. And once you're back from your night on the town, your partner can't wait to hear all about it.
It takes great strength to sincerely say these words and when you both can say this to each other, it's a reflection of how genuinely strong your relationship is. “Acknowledging a mistake and the impact it had on your significant other keeps you connected and moving forward together,” said Kurt Smith, a therapist. “Without this correction, hurt feelings can fester and build.”