"As larger than life as my mother was, she loved her moments of quiet. I just hope that she’s getting that quiet right now," their daughter, Bonnie Chapman said.
It can take so long to get a grip over how life changes after the death of someone you love. You try to bring a sense of normalcy back to life but sometimes, you struggle to keep things together when you're desperate to stay strong for your family.
Just a couple of months after Beth Chapman's death, Duane 'Dog' Chapman still fights back tears as he mentions how things have changed after he lost his wife to cancer.
While he has his grief weighing down on him, he also has to watch his kids who are "barely making it" with their mother no longer in their life, according to People.
"Each one copes differently, there is a few that really barely making it," Duane Chapman told People Now. "We don’t know what to do. We haven’t read, we weren’t prepared."
Seeing his children now reminds him of the time he lost his mother. He said, "I lost my mother first, and when my mom passed away, I’m like, 'I wish dad would have died first, you know, ’cause I love my mommy'. So I went to them and said, 'I’m so sorry that I didn’t die first and mom did.'"
"And they were like, 'Yeah dad, why?'" Duane Chapman continued. "So I was like, 'Oh my god, I know what that feels like, I should’ve been the one. The guy goes first.'"
He also talked about the difficulties of trying to fill her shoes in their lives. He said, "I guess I’m the softy of the group, because I never wanted to punish. I said, ‘Your mom is gonna get you if you don’t do that.’ So now I gotta be the one that does that, and I don’t like that and they don’t either."
"It's not been that long. They are helping cook, because Beth was a fantastic cook," he said about how the family is keeping things going at home. "I am doing their laundry, I’m vacuuming, making my own bed. So I don’t wanna lie, they do nothing. They’re kids. … It’s just, ‘Dad’s there, he can do it.'"
When Bonnie Chapman, the youngest daughter of Beth and Duane Chapman, spoke to SurvivorNet, she said that it was her mother who was "very much the head of the family".
Although Duane Chapman has quite the tough image onscreen, Bonnie Chapman revealed how different he is. "My dad that you see on the show is… he is always like the very tough guy, but in reality, my father is a teddy bear. He is such an empathetic soul," Bonnie Chapman said. "My dad had a love for her that was constantly growing stronger and stronger. And it really showed her like, 'he is really here for me. He is going to take care of me until my very last days.' It was really nice to see her take comfort in that my dad was always gonna be there."
Bonnie Chapman joked that cooking wasn't her father's greatest strengths. But when Beth Chapman was sick, he would try his hand at cooking and didn't care how many times he failed. "....She was really trying her hardest to eat, and when my dad would try to make her food, if it didn’t taste right, he would do it again and again and again until he got it right," Bonnie Chapman said. "My dad does not cook. I don’t trust my dad with the oven, the stove… not even a microwave really."
But for his wife, he was willing to keep trying. "When it was wrong, he would be like, 'OK, I’ll go back and do it again—I’ll make it exactly how you like it and I’ll make it so that you’re able to eat it,'" Bonnie Chapman added.
Till her very last moments, Beth Chapman knew she was deeply loved until the end. “Even as her hair started to diminish, he would tell her that she looked like an Egyptian goddess,” Bonnie Chapman said. “He just loved her so much, and I’m really proud of him for sticking with her until the very last moments. That’s what she needed. She needed someone who loved her as much as my dad did."
She said, "As larger than life as my mother was, she loved her moments of quiet. I just hope that she’s getting that quiet right now."