Kurt Cobain's death is something that never left her. "There’s shock. There’s turmoil. There’s lament. There’s relinquishing. There’s remembrance. There are huge swings of emotion," Courtney Love said, talking about how the grief of losing her husband has shaped her life.
Their relationship lasted only a few years. But in the little time they had together, Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love had a relationship filled with flaming passion, a fair share of heartache, and sometimes out of control. He was the voice of the generation while she was the queen of grunge, and together, they were a pair that was unlike any other.
In January 1990, the two of them first met and Cobain instantly fell for her, as reported by the Daily Beast. Their second fated meeting was over a year later. It was at a concert in May 1991, where Courtney wrote her number on a bar napkin and handed it to Cobain. The rock legend didn't wait too long before calling her up and gave her a ring later that night.
They ended up talking for an hour and when Cobain later told his friend, Ian Dickson, about their phone conversation, he said, "I’ve met the coolest girl in the whole world."
"Kurt would not stop talking about her. It was 'Courtney says this,' and 'Courtney says that,'" his friends shared. Eventually, they were in the midst of a storybook romance and not long after, the couple thied the knot in 1992.
"I saw them together, and I'll tell you something about their relationship that was amazing to me: They talked all the time," Love's mother, Linda Carroll shared with HuffPost Live. "They had an ongoing conversation. They spoke each other's languages."
However, their relationship came with its own problems where Cobain was mentally in a bad place by the year 1994. When Love spoke to Rolling Stone about his mood when he went on his last European tour, she said, "He hated everything, everybody. Hated, hated, hated."
On April 8, 1994, Cobain's lifeless body was found in his home in Seattle, and it was reported by CBS News that his body was found about three days after he passed away from a self-inflicted gunshot.
At the age of 27, apart from leaving behind his legacy in rock history, he left behind Love and their daughter Frances Bean Cobain with a note. Love shared, "He wrote me a letter other than his suicide note. It’s kind of long. I put it in a safe-deposit box. I might show it to Frances–maybe... 'You know I love you, I love Frances, I’m so sorry. Please don’t follow me... I’ll be there, I’ll protect you. I don’t know where I’m going. I just can’t be here anymore.'"
According to People, Cobain also said in the note, "Please keep going Courtney for Frances. For her life will be so much happier without me. I love you. I love you."
For Love, the grief of losing Cobain was something that never left her for years. "There’s shock. There’s turmoil. There’s lament. There’s relinquishing. There’s remembrance. There are huge swings of emotion. There’s fake smiling. There’s ugly crying. I really felt like there were a couple of times where I’d get over it, and then it would come back a few years later," she told Interview about how grief has shaped her life.
"...One really pertinent thing about grief is to not let anyone tell you that it should be over: 'It’s been 15 years, it should be over now.' 'It’s been 25 years, you should be over it by now.' You get over it when you get over it, which is probably never."
In 2015, when Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, a documentary on the late rock musician premiered, Love admitted that watching it was like being with him once again. "I get to see this beautiful man I was married to 21 years ago, and it's really sad and brings up different emotions," she said, as quoted by USA Today.
Even as decades have passed, she will never forget the connection that she shared with her soulmate. "We were best friends," Love said, "that punch-drunk love thing, where you've met your soul mate and you're 25 [...] There's other kinds of love, and more mature kinds of love, but no. It was like a soul mate-y thing."