Your apology was as fake as your promises, and I'm not going to forgive you just so you will go and cause the same excruciating pain to someone else.
You broke my trust, shattered my confidence, ripped my heart apart, and you still expect me to forgive you? For all the times you caused me pain, I'm not going to forgive you and let you think that there's still a door open for you to creep back into my life in any way.
My peace of mind doesn't depend on whether I forgive you or not. It depends on me finding my strength to move on even after you left me in pieces. The only thing I'm sorry about is you believing that I could be fooled and that I would silently take all your drama. But I'm not the woman you thought I am; so, stop waiting for my forgiveness when you don't deserve it.
Words don't mean anything when they come from you. You knew exactly what to say and when to say it, dragging me along in the relationship and giving me promises in return for my commitment to you. And even when I decided to end our relationship, I could see that your apology was just as meaningless as those fake promises you gave me. Your sweet talking may have fooled me once, but I will never let you fool me twice. I'm not going to waste my second chances on you.
Yes, of course, I prioritized you in our relationship because that's what I do. When I love someone, I love with all my heart but you assumed that it was because I was naive and stupid. You thought my kindness was a weakness and you tried to take advantage of me. But what you never had the chance to see is that people can love without having ulterior motives. So, if you ever find it in yourself to love someone without having a selfish agenda of your own, maybe then you deserve forgiveness.
What hurt me most in the relationship were those moments where you coerced me into being someone I did not want to be. I can't even remember the last compliment you gave me; you only had belittling things to say about me and everything I did. It took me time but I realized that nothing in this world is worth losing myself for, especially not the non-commital attitude you gave me in the relationship. Even though I walked out of our relationship unable to recognize the woman I had become, now, with each passing day, I grow more and more proud of the person I see in the mirror.
I could see that it wasn't just me; you treated everyone in your life as if they were objects for you to selfishly use and then dispose of when your needs are fulfilled. If I forgive you, I know that you're just going to go off and suck someone back into your negative cycle and hurt them in the same way you hurt me. You never ran out of reasons to point fingers at me in the relationship; it's about time you take a good look at yourself now and wonder why people grow so exhausted from being around you.
5. You made me lose hope in true love, but it is you that isn't worth it
You were so devious in your ways that at the time, it affected the way I looked at love. You caused me pain and brought my entire world to shreds, but still managed to convince me, "it's love". But the more I was suffocated by your negative behavior, the more I could see that this is not the way I, or anyone, should be treated in a relationship. I'm glad I got out when I did, because if I stayed with you any longer, you would have continued to emotionally manipulate me and ruin my wellbeing.
So finally, no, I will not forgive you for all the toxicity you brought into my life. I will definitely move on for it, but I will never forget it for all the lessons it has taught me.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.