Though previously she had said that she wasn't ready to take the big step, a year after grieving her mother Beth's loss, she's ready.
A lot of times even after we lose someone, their presence remains with us for a long time. Getting over their loss is a lot harder than anyone can imagine. Only those who've lost their loved ones understand the real pain.
It's been a year since Beth Chapman passed away after a two-year-long battle with cancer, but her daughter still believes that she's with her. Cecily Chapman revealed that during the recent “bittersweet” one year anniversary of the Dog the Bounty Hunter star, she felt her mom Beth “was with her." She also said that she could feel her mother's "presence" throughout the memorial which was quite emotional for everyone present there.
Among those present in the memorial along with friends and family members was her fiance Matthew Smith. In an exclusive interview with The Sun, she revealed that her fiance had been her "rock" from the time she was recovering from Beth's loss to the day of her memorial. He was by her side during the organizing as well.
In a previous interview with The Sun, Cicely had admitted that she wasn't ready to take the big step with Matthew, but now, looking past the tragic loss of her mother last year, the Chapman family could be celebrating two weddings in a year. She was hinting at her wedding with Matthew and her father Duane Chapman aka Dog's wedding to fiance Francie.
She said, “You know in relationships I’ve always thought how is it going to be when you move in together? How are you in the best time? How are you when you travel? How are you in the worst times?" Explaining her decision further, she continued, “And I feel like it took me a year of grieving to reassure me that this is who I think I should be with because if he can put up with me at my best, my worst, then I feel like I should give him that shot."
“I feel like he deserves it because he’s been with me for thick and thin. And the fact that he slept by my side this whole time, just kind of reassuring me, as I struggled with my grief," she added and continued, “If we can get through this and we’re still totally in love, there’s got to be something huge there.”
She jokingly admitted that she has plans on getting married just a week after her dad. Revealing a few details she said, “I kind of promised myself after the one-year anniversary I have to move on and do what I need to do in order to grow. So my goal is to get married next summer, but within the next two years for sure, depending on money, travel and everything." She continued, "So yeah there could be two Chapman weddings and that would be very exciting. Maybe we can plan them close together so no one has to move too."
Talking about the day of the memorial, she said, “I feel like the whole way up until that day, I felt sad. I thought a lot about planning it and making it perfect for her, making the best flowers. It was definitely something I worked on all month long just to make sure that it was perfect."
She continued, “Then when the day came, I was really focused on what was going on. So it was kind of a bittersweet distraction. I was constantly on the move and I constantly had something to do all day. And that kind of got me through it."
Explaining how she felt her mom's presence, she added, “When I got to the water for the paddle out and got in, I just felt this pure feeling, there was God's light coming from the clouds and felt like she [Beth] was there. Mary, her best friend, in all of her photos, has this little green light in the picture, like an aura or spirit, so we feel that was her. You could definitely just feel her presence all through the day.”
Beth's memorial had everything she loved, from a special hike to one of her favorite spots to sunset paddle in the ocean. Sharing some intimate pictures of the memorial and divulging about the arrangements, Cicely said, "…I felt really sad because I didn't want it to be the one year already. I felt like I was at peace but it has still taken me a while to share these pictures because I felt like it was just so precious to me at the time... now I feel like it's time for me to share it with the world, just because everyone has their special place for her."
She continued saying, “And I want people to see that now I really tried to commemorate her in the best way, with the flower arrangements and everything that I did on my own."
While she was sad that some could not be present, she expressed her gratitude to the millions who paid respect to Beth from around the world. She said, "... I saw so many people all over the world paying tribute, it really touched my heart," she said.
Admitting that Beth's fans were the reason for her to begin "For Beth" clothing line and to keep her mom's memory alive forever, she continued, “Her fans just absolutely loved her and she was a mother figure to them and to see all of the photos that flooded in that day, it was extremely touching. It brought me so much joy and tears.”