If you sleep separately, "...it can lead to levels of lack of intimacy, it can lead to some strains in the relationship." Here's how you can avoid it.
When you're with a partner who hogs the blanket and yanks it away from you, wants the temperate set 10 degrees lower or higher than what you want, or sleeps loudly with their snores booming through the entire house, getting a good night's sleep starts to become a luxury for you.
63 percent of couples sleep separately through most of the night while one in 10 admitted that they sleep in separate bedrooms, according to the Better Sleep Council. A survey by Mattress Clarity even found that 30.9 percent of Americans want a sleep divorce. Although couples vow that they will be with each other "till death do us part", sleep is increasingly becoming an exception.
Some couples might find that sleeping in separate rooms might help them sleep better. However, there are a number of wonderful benefits that come from waking up next to someone you love. Not only does it positively regulate your blood pressure and let you wake up with happy-cheery hormones, but it can also increase the bond between you and your partner.
When you don't sleep together, "...it can lead to levels of lack of intimacy, it can lead to some strains in the relationship," explained sleep specialist, Dr. Michael Breus, on the Today show. Sleeping separately need not be a bad thing if it's helping you sleep better. However, it is also robbing you of the wonderful benefits of waking up next to your lover.
Being physically close to each other can produce oxytocin in your body, which can bring you both closer and reduce stress, according to The Wall Street Journal. Also, it's sort of a way for you both to catch up with each other at the end of the day after your chores are done or the kids are tucked into bed.
In most cases, simple solutions and an open conversation can solve the problem. And you both can finally snuggle up together without sacrificing a night's worth of well-rested sleep. If you and your partner experience any of the following problems, here's what you can do.
It's perfectly okay if one of you is an early bird while the other is a night owl. One of the suggestions Dr. Breus gave for a partner who wakes up early is getting dressed in another room so that the partner who is still asleep doesn't get disturbed.
"They now actually make alarm clocks that vibrate," Dr. Breus said, and these wouldn't make sounds that disturb your partner. These alarm clocks can even be kept inside your pillow so that you won't be worried about missing the alarm and oversleeping. "These things really work quite well," he added.
Falling asleep at two different times could seem like a problem, but can have simple solutions. You want to be respectful of your partner's needs but you both also might want to spend quality time together before one falls asleep. "Let's say your partner wants to go to bed earlier than you do, well, you can hang out with them, let them fall asleep, and then you can go do whatever it is you want to do," suggested Dr. Breus.
Another great and obvious way to respect your partner would be to stop watching television in the same room, finish watching or reading or whatever else you would like to do, and then come back to your cozy bedroom to fall asleep next to your partner. If you tend to be someone who falls asleep while watching television, although it's not the best idea, it would help to get a set that enables the self-timer option where the television set can automatically switch off.
Building a pillow wall can help if you or your partner snores. "I tell people to decongest for better rest. Any level of congestion that you have... at the back of your throat will have an effect on snoring," Dr. Breus explained. "Use a saline spray before bed, try to make sure that your sheets are clean, and use allergy-free detergent." You can even opt for anti-snoring devices or "oral appliances" which can help you breathe better and prevent snoring, according to Healthline.
Dr. Breus pointed out that the battle over the temperature is what causes most couples to have bedroom fights. One partner might want it really cool while the other might want it warm to suit their idea of being cozy and comfy for sleep. Simple things like using extra covers and wearing socks can help the person who wants the temperature warmer, while the partner who wants it cooler can take their socks off and even stick one leg out (which is the all-time classic method). Simple things like this can keep you both happy and ensure that issues like these don't put a distance between you both.
What matters most is being able to talk things out so that you can find these simple solutions to continue sleeping soundly next to each other. "Some couples end up sleeping apart out of desperation because one partner is not sleeping at all. But there is no conversation involved," said Wendy Troxel, a clinical psychologist, behavioral and social scientist, who has even studied the subject. "When that happens, the other partner may feel abandoned." This is the last thing you want your partner to feel. So, don't forget to just have conversations so that there's never a distance growing between you and your partner in the bedroom.