Bartender shared her experience about pretty privilege and said customers behaved differently after she gained weight.
Cassidy Lane, a body-positive bartender, broke down crying as she opened up about customers treating her poorly after she gained weight as part of her recovery from an eating disorder. Lane said her appearance affected the way people treated her and has also considerably affected the tips she receives from customers. Lane posted the video in response to a video by @lizagnabathwater, in which they asked, "Hey, if you've had pretty privilege your whole life can you stitch this and tell me what your world view is? Like do you think people are really nice?"
The term "pretty privilege" is the systemic advantage that people get when they are deemed attractive by the standards of society. The privilege is almost exclusively reserved for thin, white, abled, and cisgender people. It gives them an advantage in pretty much all walks of life including aiding your social and economic status, your popularity, both on and offline. Not to mention that sexism, racism, and ageism define the beauty ideals, conditioned primarily through pop culture.
Cassidy Lane, who goes by @body_positive_bartender, busted any illusions people might have and clearly spelled out that majority of the people still catered to people who are conventionally attractive as per beauty standards set by media and society. Lane said she noticed a huge difference in people's attitude towards her after she gained weight as she sought help for an eating disorder during the pandemic. Once she returned to work, Lane realized the customers were meaner to her. Lane posted the video and captioned it: "We can all pretend it’s not true, but we know it is."
"So I work in the service industry. I'm a bartender. If you are unaware, the way you look influences a lot," said Lane. "Whether that's tips or how people treat you, it just does. And when I tell you my whole life changed when I started getting help for my eating disorder, which resulted in weight gain during the pandemic," said Lane. She got emotional and teared up as she continued. "People don't even look you in the eye anymore. They're not nice to you. Especially men," she pointed out.
She said even customary social interactions as paper of her job had changed. People who were usually kind didn't even look at her as they gave her the orders. She also called out people who said pretty privilege wasn't a real thing. "And for people who say this doesn't happen, please raise your hand if you would willing like to live as a fat person. And the fact that no one raises their hand makes the point. And it just makes you feel hopeless, like, am I ever going to be worth more than my looks?" asked Lane.
Many shared their own experiences in the comments. The video has over 6 million views and generated over 18 thousand comments. One TikToker user commented, "Men used to approach my group of friends, ask everyone's names and buy a round of drinks.. and skip me. Literally invisible." Another added, "I feel this to my soul. I ended up with some unhealthy validation needs and my day would be ruined if I wasn't told I was beautiful at least once.