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7 Signs To Know If You Are Depressed Or Just Surrounded By Selfish People

7 Signs To Know If You Are Depressed Or Just Surrounded By Selfish People

Some people can suck all the energy out of you, making you feel angry, sad, miserable, and guilty for reasons you can't figure out.

Have you been feeling overwhelmed lately? Do you feel frustrated often or like you are the edge of sanity? Sometimes, you might wonder why you don't feel like your old self—carefree, relaxed, happy.  It is possible that things are stressing you out despite you being strong and resilient. When it continues to happen over time, you could end up feeling low on energy and exhausted both emotionally and physically. Mental health is as important and—sometimes all the more important than—physical health as emotional stress can give rise to physical symptoms as well. If you have been feeling sad lately, it is important to first check if certain people and situations are making it worse for you.

It doesn't matter where you live or what you do; there will be a few selfish folks everywhere you go. If you have been feeling resentful or stressed lately, look around to identify if there is any jerk who is adding to your misery. When there's a selfish jerk in your life, this is what they are likely to do. 

1. They suck the energy out of you until you're drained

Their sole presence in your life is to take and take from you but never give anything in return. They don't care about what your needs are or how you are feeling. Sometimes they may pretend to care, but you will know it because you always feel exhausted after they leave. Their conversation is mostly about them and their greatness and their misery. They don't want to listen to things that could be bothering you. "An asshole is someone who leaves us feeling demeaned, de-energized, disrespected, and/or oppressed. In other words, someone who makes you feel like dirt," psychology professor at Stanford University and author of The Asshole Survival Guide, Robert Sutton told Vox

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2. They are ignorant but loud and opinionated

Even when you don't want their opinion, they will make sure their thoughts are heard loud and clear. People like this have no qualms about overstepping boundaries and invading your personal space. And they will always make sure they have the last word, even if it's at the cost of hurting others. When they feel threatened by others, which is quite often because they feel insecure, they will not think twice to twist the truth or belittle you. If you have a boss or partner who has these traits, this could be why you are feeling anxious or sad. Finding a solution to the situation or getting out of it can instantly help make you feel better.

3. They make you feel guilty for putting yourself first

When they're around, every conversation is about them and everything they expect you to do is to fulfil their needs or boost their ego. They can be manipulative and this can lead you to deny your own feelings and push aside what you want from the situation. If you are constantly made to put someone else's need first, you are likely to feel resentful and angry. This can lead you to feel depressed overtime because suppressing your true emotions is not healthy. This could also be why you lose interest in doing things that used to make you happy.

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4. They blatantly lie to get what they want

A selfish person will do anything to get what they want. They will not hesitate to lie, gossip, or even spread rumors about you. "They excuse it because they think what they want is always right, and when other people get in the way, they should be defeated by any means necessary," wrote professor, Claire Potter for The Chronicle. Because of this, you end up feeling like there's no one around you that you can trust. This could make you feel lonely and alienated, something that can lead you to feel sad. When the selfish person is actually toxic, they can even gaslight you with lies and make you doubt your self-worth and sanity.

5. They put you down constantly because of their own insecurity

You almost never hear positive words come out of them. People who act like total jerks are often the most insecure lot. But instead of acknowledging how unsure they feel about themselves, they project it onto others. This is why they often act loud and bossy or have mean things to say about others. Any person who feels good about themselves is a threat to them. So they have to say or do something to put you down and steal back the spotlight.

Even when you achieve something or you crossed an important milestone, they are likely to say, "you just got lucky" or "anybody can do that." This can make you doubt your own abilities and make you question if you truly deserve love and success.

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6. They compel you to be a different person

So conniving and manipulative in their ways, they can turn you into someone that you don't even recognize. When things go wrong, they will play the victim card and make you blame yourself for whatever is happening in your life. Over time, you feel unsure of your actions and begin to doubt your ability to make your own decisions. This is when even little things can trigger an emotional outburst in you. It slowly wears you down and the effect starts creeping into your physical, mental, and emotional well being. 

When to seek help:

Symptoms of depression are not to be treated lightly. If you think you might have signs of depression, it's best to seek professional help or talk to someone you trust. To know more, visit Mayo Clinic.

Disclaimer: This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.

References:
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1128205-before-you-diagnose-yourself-with-depression-or-low-self-esteem-first
https://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/9/26/16345476/stanford-psychologist-art-of-avoiding-assholes
https://www.chronicle.com/blognetwork/tenuredradical/2007/07/no-asshole-rule-reflection/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007

Disclaimer : This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.