Duane Chapman loved his wife so much that he could contain his emotions. He just wanted to let go of his own life when he saw his wife was no more.
The loss of your loved one can evoke memories and sometimes leave you in a deep emotional pit. It leaves you feeling lost and lonely, to the extent where you feel life is not worth it without them. Duane 'Dog' Chapman, the reality star went through such an emotional trauma after he lost his dear wife, Beth Chapman. The finale episode of WGN’s Dog’s Most Wanted, showed viewers a grief-stricken Duane Chapman who contemplates ending his life.
According to People, the 66-year-old reality star was overcome with grief just hours after Beth's death on 26 June 2019. Unable to handle the reality in front of him, his mind wandered into a dark emotional state. "I’ve only been alone as I showered and I had to run out without a towel, because I can’t be alone right now. That’s when I start thinking about things. And I lay down to take a nap, and I reached over to touch something, and it was the freaking dog. I don’t realize yet psychologically that she’s gone gone and I’ll never, ever see her. I don’t realize that," said the reality star during the episode.
He added, "I just hope that I don’t live very much longer without her, because now she made the first step, she’s through the gate. She paved a way for me. I want to take a g– d— pain pill so bad. I feel like if I did something to myself right now and passed away suicidal and I got to heaven and was like, ‘Hi honey,’ and would she go, ‘You d— a–, why would you do that?’ Or would she go, ‘Wow, you’re here.’ I’ll be like ‘Of course I’m here. You left me. I’m here.’ So, am I obligated to do that?”
The finale episode showed viewers the intense moments just hours before and after the death of Beth Chapman. Apart from Duane Chapman, his daughters Lyssa, Bonnie, and Cecily were also seen struggling to deal with Beth's death.
“It feels like it’s not real,” said Lyssa, one of Duane’s children with his third wife, Lyssa Brittain. Duane responds to her telling, "We’ve prepared for this for a while. I don’t care how much you prepare, it’s tough."
He further bursts out into a heartbreaking speech. He says, "It’s about 6 a.m. in Hawaii, Honolulu. At 5:30 something, Beth usually gets up every day to hit Koko Head mountain here with the family, some of her girls and her dog, and today at that time Beth’s hike was the stairway to heaven.”
Though it has been months since her death, Duane has not been able to move forward. Apart from the emotional challenges he faced after her death, the reality star was also diagnosed with pulmonary embolism, a life-threatening heart condition. He was not ready to get his medical condition treated, but speaking during an episode of The Dr. Oz Show, Duane agreed on taking care of his health.
“I hesitated for a minute thinking, I don’t want to have to go through this again. I don’t want to die right now. I’m not afraid to die anymore, but I really didn’t care for awhile if something would happen. I do care now,” told the star.