With such a big milestone, you'd think you'd be ready for it. But marriage is a lot more complex than that and only the two of you can uncomplicate it.
Getting married is one of the biggest milestones in a person's life. The thought of it can be terrifying for some, but just as exhilarating at the same time. You have plans and you feel like you know how your marriage is going to work. After being married though, you suddenly realize that that isn't the case. You thought that things would change and you'd somehow feel sorted. Now you wish you had known some things before you got married.
You've been independent for a long time so initially, you actually struggled to let him take over a few things. That hasn't changed much after you got married but now you find yourself being dependent on him for your emotional needs. This can be a struggle to deal with because it seems like they're never really making you happy. But the only person who can make you truly happy is yourself.
Everyone complains about how their spouses change after marriage and think that's the real problem. But you're human too and it's okay that you'll change. It's not like marriage is going to stop you from growing as a person. It doesn't mean that you're automatically going to morph into a whole new person. It just means that marriage is an experience that will help you evolve.
They are not perfect. Your partner is bound to make some mistakes or do certain things that may annoy you. But you know that their flaws are not what defines them. After all, you loved them despite all of it which is why you chose to get married. However, marriage isn't going to make them change overnight and by accepting that, you know that your marriage is stronger for it.
When you were single and thinking about marriage, you probably believed that you would make sure the house was clean, you'd cook and the house would smell like a delicious home restaurant. But after you got married, that clearly didn't happen and it's fine. You are still human and much like everyone else, are prone to making a mistake. You'll have your off days. What's more important is that both of you be there for each other when that off day is happening.
They may not have been able to read your emotions accurately when you were dating and that's not changing after marriage. It is simply best to assume that your partner will never fully know what you want until you clearly say it out loud, so you might as well just be direct. Plus, it saves a lot of time and effort. The simple creatures you marry definitely need clear instructions.
The way both of you view love and how you show it is bound to be different. So marriage isn't going to suddenly put the two of you on the same page. In order to navigate this difference, it wouldn't hurt for the two of you to ask each what makes you feel most loved. You never know, they might even surprise you.
Deep breath in, deep breath out. You've probably fought with your partner husband over many things but in a marriage, you both are connected by more than just a paper. You've vowed to protect, love and hold each other. This means that for both of you to be able to come out stronger, you need to have those conversations that address your problems. Talking it out might even be awkward, but at least you know that it will help resolve issues.
But talking it out isn't the only thing that matters. Any relationship is one that requires give-and-take and even more so in a marriage. You love that man you've made your life partner but you're also individuals who have your own needs. So compromising on certain things can ensure that both of you get what you want without foregoing the other's needs.
No matter how much you wish you had known this before getting married, you know that you don't regret it. That's because your marriage has opened your eyes to whole new experience and you've learned so much from it.