Love was supposed to be painless and make you feel happy. Who knew it could make you wish the ground would swallow you?
It's not like the movies at all. All those times characters portrayed love as if it were all sunshine and roses, it was just an ideal. One that made you have certain expectations of it only for it to be completely shattered. How come those movies never showed just how painful the void is when that love breaks or how vulnerable it made you feel? How come it never explained how you were supposed to move on from that broken heart or learn how to love without any of the pain? Why did those movies never tell you why it hurts so much? Well, here are six reasons why love hurts:
You always thought that you would one day find your one true love, just like in the fairytales. What a joke. After going through so much heartbreak, only then did you realize that perfect love never existed. One way or another, the people you loved broke your heart and you had to constantly pick up the pieces.
You showered those you loved with kindness, compassion, respect, and commitment. You never expected anything in return. And that was the issue because you let your heart rule your head and your kindness was abused. They saw you as weak and didn't hesitate to exploit it. Well, the joke's on them because you're still standing.
Is it so wrong to feel wanted by someone? Is it wrong to be someone's number one priority? Is it wrong to just have one person you can count on to hold you whether in bad times or good? Just like anyone else, you wanted company but having others trample all over your heart multiple times makes you want to lock it up and throw away the key. It's why you probably find it hard to open up to anyone. You just don't want to be hurt... again.
Trust is a fragile thing. It takes time to build up and just seconds to drop. But you thought the person you loved would hold that trust carefully... until they didn't and there went the pieces of your heart scattering again. Now, what used to take you maybe months to trust someone takes longer than that and even then, you find that you can't really believe anyone anymore. It's a sad way to live but how else do you protect yourself?
Love is truly a cocktail of chemicals. Dopamine (the pleasure hormone), oxytocin (the trust hormone) and serotonin (the happy hormone) — all of these make love so addictive. So when someone shatters that love, it can break your heart... almost literally. The emotional pain you feel can lead to a physical response, which is known as stress-induced cardiomyopathy, meaning that stress has caused dysfunction or failure of the heart muscle, according to Cleveland Clinic. This condition, ironically, is also known as broken heart syndrome. But a broken heart doesn't mean you can't love again.
It's this side of you that proves your strength. All those you loved who believed that your kindness made you weak didn't realize that the reason you are still able to love again is because of the strength inside you. It allows you to still see the romance in a situation and love someone. Though you might protect yourself better, when you love, you give it your all because that's just who you are. And to those who didn't betray you, they know this quality of yours is why they see you as their rock and make them loyal to you. Of course, being hurt so many times can make you want to give up altogether, but that's not in you.
Love may hurt, but it can also heal. And your ability to love is something no one can ever take away from you.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.