Kindness emerges out of a deep sense of empathy and sometimes, it hurts.
Who are kind people? Kindness is a rare quality among people but those who are kind are so because of the deep sense of empathy they carry in their hearts. Empathy, "increases the likelihood of helping others and showing compassion" according to a report on Lesley, and it "is a building block of morality—for people to follow the Golden Rule, it helps if they can put themselves in someone else’s shoes," according to Greater good. What it means is that empathetic people are kinder and since they feel emotions deeply, they suffer deeply as well. Let's look at it further:
Kind people would rather suffer than see anyone else in pain. It is in their nature to put themselves in harm's way if it means protecting those they love. This also means that you suffer in their stead. Needless to say, the pain that you feel, even for others, stabs at your heart and you don't even complain because that's the kind of person you are. You would rather bear the pain than letting someone else share this burden.
The thing about kindness and empathy is that you can place yourself in someone else's frame of mind and experience emotions like they are. Even when the pain is not yours, you understand the sting of it, how much it hurts, and how deeply it burns in someone's heart. In a strange way, you carry the hurt of others as well as yourself because you simply can't help but consider their state of pain as your own. It is the burden of carrying double the grief that digs deeper into your heart, all the time.
What happens when someone hurts you? Well, a lot of people believe that they should hurt them back. Revenge is what drives a lot of people and that is exactly what kind people do not want. Kind people are not vindictive. They will even forgive people who hurt them because they just cannot bear to carry so much negativity in their hearts. They do not want 'an eye for an eye' and they do not wish harm upon others. And despite feeling that revenge could help let off steam, momentarily, they would rather dissociate and focus on their own lives than seeking vengeance upon others.
Kind people believe in sharing a burden but ironically, they do not like sharing their own. They believe that their hurt is theirs alone to carry but they do not hesitate in sharing someone else's pain. The fact that they keep their pain to themselves means that they suffer longer and deeper without anyone else even being aware of it. They do not seek support because they would rather not trouble others with their own concerns. This makes it difficult for them to let off steam, and their hurt keeps bubbling inside them, scorching deeper each day.
If you know a kind person in your life, then you know how blessed you are. They are the kind of people who will keep on giving without asking for a thing in return. They would give you their all if you just ask and they would do so with a smile on their face. Quite often, it makes them vulnerable and people abuse their kindness and take advantage of them. They are often left with nothing but a deep sense of loss because there are those who take kind people for granted, use them, and discard them. But the kind person does not seek revenge. They suffer deeply but they remain true to their hearts.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.