Marriage certainly wasn't a smooth ride for us... but in a way, I'm glad it wasn't because I know I appreciate you more for it.
We've been married 20 years. 3 kids, 2 cars, 1 mortgage later, I sometimes wonder what we have to show for it. I mean, we've had some good times, some great times, and then some very bad times. We made it through everything but I can't help but think that it's like you don't care anymore.
We don't go out on date nights anymore. It's like you can't be bothered to make the effort to dress up and go out for a night on the town. Actually, forget that. Even a dinner date would have been nice... but at least you come with me when I need to go to the grocery store. Quite frankly, I'm impressed you know how to pick the right tomatoes.
You never take the kids out for their extra-curricular activities. From soccer practice to ballet recitals... the instructors are starting to wonder if you're a myth. After all, they never see you. I'm just so tired of running around... but it is nice that you take care of their meals and snacks while I'm busy with them. And don't think I don't notice you sneak in a few candies when you think I'm not looking. But the kids are happy.
You're always in front of the TV when I'm working. You're glued to the screen. Even if I ask you to do something, it goes in one ear and right out the other... but you do make it easier for me when you massage my feet as soon as I'm done with my chores. You know exactly which spots to hit.
You barely open up to me anymore. We've got into such a smooth routine that there's no space for even a deep conversation... but you let me rant about my day without letting anything distract you. I even know that you're actually listening because you keep interrupting me to ask questions or make comments.
During the week, you don't spend time with me. For you it's get up, work, come home, sleep, and the cycle repeats. I almost never see you. And if I don't see you, it means the kids don't see you either... but as much as I want you to spend time with me, I know you're working hard for the family. Plus, it makes me smile every time you go in to see the children sleep and tuck them in snugly.
It's been so long since you've watched the kids show off their talents. One of our children is a soccer star, the other is a dancer and our littlest one is a painter (she'll take some time to catch up). You just aren't there... but when you are, you are the loudest and proudest dad in the room. It makes the children's day.
You're never there when an important decision has to be made. You just keep pushing the decision off to me... but I know it means you trust my judgment. Even when you have a personal decision to make, I love that you want to bounce ideas off me because you have faith in my opinions.
You always laugh at me whenever I do something stupid. Sometimes, I feel bad... but then I realize, you enjoy my quirks and have accepted me as I am. Now that I think about it, I've seen you join in with me when I'm doing weird stuff. I get the feeling that our kids might not want to be associated with us in public.
You never use words of endearment with me. I think you've even stopped saying "I love you" the way you used to when we first got together... but every small thing you do to help me or the kids shows me just how much you love me. You're still making the effort and I know that we matter. I love you, dear husband.